The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms
Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan - Searching for kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
D&C - Where Washington is
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
Genital - Non-Jewish person
G.I. Series - World series of military baseball
Hangnail - What you hang your coat on
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pap Smear - A fatherhood test
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - Damn near killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumor - More than one
Urine - Opposite of you're out
Varicose - Near by/close by
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