Recently I had the opportunity to relive my JC days while chatting on MSN. It felt pretty nostalgic. I guess everyone has their own halcyon days.
People say once you hit 20, life goes by faster. Of course that's metaphorically speaking. Yet sometimes I cannot help but wonder at the truth which belies that simple sentence. As each year passes, I become a little more reflective, a little more contemplative. Maybe that's what it feels like being old. Applying moisturiser becomes a daily necessity rather than a luxury due to the fact that old skin is less supple than younger skin. OK, that's radically off tangent. The point is I'm getting old. Oh alright, 22 can hardly be classified as OLD, yet it is a far cry from when I was say..18?
Why do people reminisce about the past? Is it because they like to take what they had then and compare it to what they have now? Yet how tangible can that be? I'd admit I do that at times. Secondary school days were great fun. JC days were pretty awesome as well [if one didn't take into account the A levels]. Back then, all I was concerned with were studies and results. Then there was the occasional gross/disgusting conversation held over lunch. Now, things really have not changed much. I still worry over studies and results. Yet things seem different somehow. Life just doesn't seem as lighthearted anymore. Maybe it's the mentality that people bring with them the moment they step through the gates into a tertiary institution. It's as if there is an unspoken set of rules that one has to follow, and any deviation from it would not be entertained. Or it might be that we're consciously aware of that the moment we graduate from tertiary, it ends the studying part of our lives, and signals the beginning of a new chapter - our venture into the working world. I guess growing up is all about adapting to the changes around us. We're constantly writing a new chapter in our stories at every phase and juncture of our lives. No one would want to read a book that harps on one point all the time.
In life's journey are many twists and turns, uphills and downhills, potholes, crossroads, and obstacles. Life is transient that way. Constantly changing, never staying the same. Everyone has to move on somehow. Halcyon days become memories as we look forward to new experiences that come with each morning's sunrise. Yet we bring along with us a tangible piece of these memories, a treasure that we keep in our pockets at all times - our friends. After so many years, each carrying on with our own individual lives, I still meet up with friends from secondary school. There's something to be said about familiarity that spans 10 years. Yet as we enter different phases of our lives, we meet new people. In a way, we never really stop collecting treasures. We can't press 'rewind' and re-live the past, yet it's comforting to know that these people, both old and new, can be counted on whenever you need them.
So what does it mean to get older? Does it mean a lifetime of regret and a whole barrage of "What if's" and "If only's"? Many people do that alot. Or does getting older mean being more interesting than the people we meet? If only we could find something beautiful to notice and cherish everyday. Then being older would mean having noticed and cherished more than someone else.
"For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
- from the story, "The Teacher"
To live is to live richly. I want to be the person who wakes up every morning and takes time to appreciate the sunrise rather than rushing about getting ready for school. Perhaps if we take that little bit of time off from the world, find that quiet little niche for ourselves, we can live happier. I guess it's good to occasionally detach oneself from the craziness of life.
Maybe I've developed a slight aversion to growing old. It's probably the responsibilities that come with it. Yet I'm only going to be 22. I've still alot of growing old to do. But I'll pick out something beautiful each day to be thankful for. At least I can still sit here and blog. We think we receive the raw end of the deal sometimes, but we never realise that there are always people less fortunate than us. It sort of helps put things into perspective. I'm still searching for my place in this world, still waking up to new experiences everyday, still meeting new people everyday, and still learning and gaining more from life everyday. Meanwhile, I won't stop rolling my chair around the studio and along the corridor.