World CupI never pegged myself as a soccer person, but I do watch matches from time to time, if only to run out from my room occasionally to sneak a peek at the score and do a little jig in favor of my favorite team winning. So I was disappointed that Brazil is out of the running for the World Cup because I'm sitting contentedly in the Brazil camp, and I was expecting to see my them in the finals. So now, the only team worth watching is gone. Bleah. Random funniness #1:So I was doing No. 2 in the bathroom this afternoon, and I happened to be reading [I did some research and 74% of the world's population read in the bathroom] one of Dad's old joke books, and I chanced upon this joke which seemed funny at that time. I was probably intoxicated from the aroma emanating from the toiletbowl. Here it is (a joke about baldness):There are three ways in which a man can wear his hair: parted, unparted, departed.Random funniness #2:This is in some way linked inextricably to the one above. In order to give some flesh to (and in defence of) my reading habits [in the toilet], I did a little research about it, and what better way to prove a point then include statistics. It occurred to me that I could probably pluck any number from the air and plonk it down, but I take stats seriously (ahem), so I did a little researching on the Internet and found this hilarious website: www.toiletpaperworld.com. I doubt I need to explain the nature of the site. Humor was probably the furthest thing from the webmasters' minds when they set the site up, but I happened to be reading through one of the surveys and just about keeled over from laughter. Check this out:For what other reasons do we use toilet paper?Nose care - 61% (for some reason I found this funny)To cover the toilet seatHow many people does it take to "exhaust" a roll of toilet paper?It takes 71.48 people to completely utilize a single roll of toilet paper.Are most people "wadders" or "folders" of toilet paper? (Based on a surveyed crowd of 1,012) When it comes to toilet paper, women are more apt to be grabbers and wadders, while men tend to be folders. This is according to a Kimberly Clark survey. July 5, 2000. - 40% fold or stack, 40% wad or crumple, 20% wrap it around their hand - 52% (Men) & 38% (Women) are "folders"- 38% (Men) & 52% (Women) are "wadders"- 6% (Men) & 6% (Women) have no preference- 4% (Men) & 3% (Women) don't know(personally, I'm a "folder"..just so you know)What do we hate about toilet tissue in public restrooms? (Based on a surveyed crowd of 1,012) - 23% felt that their biggest frustration is when the tissue breaks off before you get your needed amount (or when the toilet paper is not thick enough and so it pokes through when you..erm..wipe)What factors of toilet paper are important in public restrooms? (Based on a surveyed crowd of 1,012) - 75% of the crowd said that tissue texture was very or somewhat important to them- 36% wished to see more soft paper in the public restrooms- 31% wished to see paper that never ran out- 13% wanted toilet paper with a moisturizer in it- 7% of the people wanted toilet tissue with humorous items custom-printed on it for their reading pleasure (this takes the cake for being the funniest ever)- 5% actually wanted bathroom tissue that unrolled itselfRandom funniness #3:Same toilet paper website, different section. This comes under 'Fun Facts', some of which are pretty funny:What did people use before toilet paper was invented? Newsprint, paper catalogue pages - early USHayballs, Scraper/gompf stick kept in container by the privy - Middle Ages Discarded sheep's wool - Viking Age, England Frayed end of an old anchor cable was used by sailing crews - Spain and Portugal Straw, hay, grass, gompf stick - Medieval EuropeCorn cobs, Sears Roebuck catalog, mussel shell, newspaper, leaves, sand - United States Water and your left hand - India Pages from a book - British Lords Coconut shells - early Hawaii (they sure do use coconut shells for loads of things)Lace and Hemp - French Royalty A sponge soaked in salt water, on the end of a stick - Public Restrooms in Ancient RomeWool and Rosewater - The Wealthy in Ancient RomeHemp and wool - The elite citizens of the world Snow and Tundra Moss - early EskimosDefecating in the river was very common internationally