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Saturday, February 05, 2005

Benefits of Being a Woman

1. We got off the Titanic first.

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, free dinners.

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

20. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

21. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

22. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

23. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

24. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

25. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

26. We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.

27. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

written at
|3:58 PM|


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