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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

in His time

The past week has taught me alot about serving. In the run up to Chilling Under the Stars, as usual there were plenty left undone because people have this tendency to do things at the last minute. I guess it's the panic that motivates people to finally get started on things they were supposed to be doing 4 weeks ago. I'm guilty of this syndrome myself, but when you're in charge of a big event and you're left to basically tie up the loose ends on your own because everyone is working or studying, it just wears you down and many times this week I felt like giving up and not doing this anymore because suddenly there wasn't a point in taking on the responsibilities of others on top of my own, as well as worrying about our dwindling finances when there were still much to be purchased, and also worrying about how the event will turn out on Saturday.



Sometimes it's hard to work with friends because if they're pushed too hard, the friendship may suffer, and if people are not pushed, things do not get accomplished. I'm not the perfect person to be griping about the working habits of others because I do things at the last minute as well, especially with regards to school projects. There is a difference though, between being responsible and answering only to yourself as compared to answering to a whole bunch of people more senior than me. It's times like these that I wished I had just gone ahead with my 6-month stay in London so I can escape from the craziness.



Nothing much fazes me, and tears are usually hard to come by, but I broke down momentarily on Tuesday more out of frustration that I had to literally pick up after other people and stress than anything else. Many times I had to ask God for strength to press on especially when the point to this whole event vanishes at times to nothingness in the face of overwhelming responsibilities, many of which are not my own. I never intended for this event to start off on such negative tones, but it is only human to feel frustrated at times, not to mention tired and just trying to survive on my last shred of energy and willpower. I'm grateful to the people who were willing to come down and help out, and they have reminded me that there is still a ray of light over the horizon, and I am touched by the efforts of these people.



It is another 2 more days to the event, and yet I'm already very sick of it. It takes alot to just keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for God, and my momentary tiredness are nothing compared to what He has gone through for me, and many times God reminded me gently that He makes all things beautiful in His time. I only hope I can still stand by the time Saturday rolls around because it will be another hectic day of running about trying to finish up last minute preparations. I really want to be able to see the greater purpose of doing this event than my current short-sightedness can allow. God give me strength to do the things You want me to do, and teach me to do it well.



In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful, in His time
Lord please show me everyday
As You're teaching me Your ways
That You do just what You say
In Your time

In Your time, in Your time
You make all things beautiful, in Your time
Lord my life to You I bring
May each song I have to sing
Be to You a lovely thing
In Your time

written at
|9:16 PM|


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