Don't you just hate it when you run to the public restroom because of erm..how do I put it across politely..big businesses to take care of, only to find that there's no toilet paper, and you're stranded with a soiled behind and no way to pull your pants up because that's just completely disgusting if you do. So how do you remedy the situation? Wait until everyone clears the restroom then adjourn to another stall (hopefully with toilet paper)? Or simply yell for help? Or just remain seated until a brilliant brainwave strikes? Whatever it is, waiting passive on a toiletbowl would definitely lead to boredom (trust me on this one..really), so here are a few things one can do as self-entertainment:
1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?"
2. Complement people on their shoes.
3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.
4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.
5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in their bowl.....
6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.
7. Scream "What the heck is THAT?"
8. Simulate a drug deal.
9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).
10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.
11. Start a sing-a-long.
12. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy.
13. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
14. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"
15. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.
16. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant.
17. Say "Oops... missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls.
18. At night, switch off the lights.
19. Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"
20. Collect admission fees.
21. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing.
22. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python/axolotl.
23. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.
24. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.
25. Offer refreshments.
26. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.
27. Electrify metal urinals.
28. One word: GOLDFISH.
29. Make a jelly in the bowl.
30. Remove stall doors.
31. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.
32. Put itching powder on the toilet seats.
33. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.
34. Replace soap in dispenser with custard or whipped cream.
35. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install.
36. In one stall, attach the toilet bowl to roof. (Advice for young players: Don't leave the water in while you do this....)
37. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.
38. Squish a Snickers bar all over your palm then stick your hand under the stall wall and ask for toilet paper.
39. Stick your palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
40. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
41. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
42. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
43. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from eight to 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
44. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
45. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
46. Say, "Shucks, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
47. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
48. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".