1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
2. Drum on every available surface.
3. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
5. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI warnings.
6. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
7. Write the surprise ending of a novel on its first page.
8. Set alarms for random times.
9. Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...".
10. Honk and wave to strangers.
11. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange or something equally bright and striking.
12. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
13. Wear your pants backwards.
14. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
15. Begin all your sentences with "Ooh La La!".
16. Steal a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets.
17. Pay for your dinner with coins.
18. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
19. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
20. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
21. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
22. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
23. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
24. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
25. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
26. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
27. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
28. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
29. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
30. Finish the '99 bottles of beer' song.
31. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
32. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
33. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
34. Ask people what gender they are.
35. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think.".
36. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
37. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, adopt a Southern drawl.
38. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of antiseptic.
39. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad".
40. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
41. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
42. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
43. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
44. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each 'A'.
45. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
46. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
47. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
48. Wear a LOT of cologne.
49. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
50. Sing along at the opera.
51. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!".
52. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
53. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
54. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
55. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
56. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
57. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
58. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
59. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
60. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
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