On a hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of chips:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
On a bar of soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
"Fits one head."
On packaged Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
"Do not turn upside down."
On packaged Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for an iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
On children's cough medicine:
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."
On sleep aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
On peanuts:
"Warning: Contains nuts."
On a packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."