.:: geee ::.

New Home

2010-05-24T23:48:00.002+08:00

I've officially moved to WordPress. Here's my new home:

http://tracyreflectsrandomly.wordpress.com/

Mixed emotions

2010-04-23T01:02:00.002+08:00

Goodbye my friend. Though we haven't met in a long while, I'm still a little sad that you'll be gone for so long. I don't really know why I'm sad. I hope we'll meet again in the near future. Even if it's just to say "Hello".

Bored

2009-11-11T16:29:00.002+08:00

I guess it's been awhile since I last typed anything on this page. Maybe it's Age catching up with me that I no longer find it remotely enjoyable to share aspects of my life with the world. Or perhaps I'm just lazy. Or my life is mundane. However, I'm just so bored in the office that I needed something to do. So Hello World! It's me again.

Birthday wishes

2009-10-13T20:17:00.001+08:00

As always, I'd like to wish Ian Thorpe a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Not that he'll ever see this, but I simply like to brag about the fact that my swimming idol shares the same birthday as me. Haha.

Second chances

2009-08-16T20:49:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if every once in awhile, we get the chance to do again, something we wished we had done differently in the past?

Strange News Stories

2009-07-28T11:12:00.012+08:00

I thought this was kind of funny. Especially when they felt the need to add the last sentence:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31800290

&

2009-07-28T11:07:00.000+08:00

Useless trivia of the day: This '&' sign is called the 'Ampersand'. I bet most people didn't know that. Heehee.

purpose driven life

2009-07-14T12:22:00.006+08:00

Avenue Q OST - Purpose

Motivation is like a kick in the backside. Most people need that kick to get moving. Myself, I probably need a million kicks. Unless it's something that really matters to me, then I'd need just one mega-powered-up-kick.

For a long time, I've been searching for something to make of my life. I found it last Thursday after prayer. As I was watching Andy coach swimmers at the pool next door, I realised that I miss the life of a swimmer. I miss having coaches yell at me from opposite ends of the pool, and I miss being constantly submerged in chlorine water 5 times a week.

So I'm putting this resolve up on my blog to let people know about it and therefore, constantly remind me to keep at it: I'm going to start training and go back to waterpolo. It's not the trophies or accolades that shape my resolve, but the fact that being in a pool is what I've always loved to do. I was cleaning my shelf yesterday and every trophy and medal I wiped reminded me of a life that I once loved, and still do. Even though all these things would fade away when I die, at least the present satisfaction of having a life well led and doing the things I love would ensure a fruitful life.

baby!!!!

2009-06-23T16:44:00.003+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS to Jaya and Peter on their little bundle of joy!!!!!

I'm now feeing the onset of quarterlife crisis. Nothing brings it on more than your classmates getting married and having babies. Still, I'm extremely happy for them!!

fly away

2009-06-06T23:18:00.002+08:00

Congratulations to Steph who's going to study in the US!! (I'm envious...gah)

I need to either find a job overseas, migrate there, or meet someone who will whisk me away from Singapore (and since I'm dreaming, I want a pony).

I reckon July will decide for me where I'll live out the rest of my future. That is if things turn out in my favor.

DIY Girl

2009-06-03T16:00:00.005+08:00

You know how everybody sometimes has spontaneous weird urges to do something? I reckon I've got spurts of spontaneous DIY urges. Thus far I've created my own mobile phone pouch, skirts, shoes, and jewellery. What's next are BAGS! I've got this sudden urge to make my own bag, and not those flimsy cheap-o clothy kinds, but a real bag. Man this is beyond exciting!

Clearly I've got too much time.

randomness

2009-05-26T19:01:00.002+08:00

Have you ever looked out of your window/balcony into the world outside and suddenly know that everything is going to be OK? I have, and I just did. It's unexplainable really. I think I'm just a sucker for the serenity of the evening sky.

irritants

2009-05-19T01:29:00.005+08:00

I'm not irked by many things because I choose not to be bothered by a lot of them. However, what irritates me most are people who constantly complain about things yet not do anything about it. The annoying thing is that these people are usually not aware of themselves doing so. I know when I'm being an ass, and I try to tone ass-ism down whenever it happens. BUT, I guess there will always be people who are not as self-aware, and what aggravates any situation most is that these people have a knack of finding each other and forming a clique, and all they do is complain to one another about whatever does not pander to their royal highnesses.

In my opinion, this group of people will probably degenerate into cavemen if nobody steps in to slap some sense into them (and I'll gladly volunteer for this job). One defining characteristic of people in this category is that many of them are not able to wrap their minuscule brains around the fact that this world does not revolve around them. Because of that, they swim in their little fish tank of a world, unable to comprehend the things happening in the bigger world out there.

In some way, I feel sad for these people, because instead of confiding in friends who are able to affirm them in truth and love, as well as to give advice that adheres to the way of Christ, they and their fellow like-minded people continue to affirm each other in lies and negativity because all they do when their together is complain about what their unhappy about, yet not one of them have the decency, or the guts to actually try to do something about it. The worst part is, because they cannot grasp the fact that there is a world beyond that which they have created for themselves, they think everyone is against them whenever things do not cater to them, or they think other people have some sort of hidden agenda/ulterior motive if ever they try to show concern, and thereby effectively erecting a barrier of disillusionment around themselves. Which is pathetic really. People like these really need to get some lives and to start venturing out of their little burrows and learn to see beyond themselves.

Highlighters

2009-05-15T20:21:00.005+08:00

I bought this packet of fruit scented highlighters from Daiso today. I might either have gotten high over sniffing fruity scents, or I'm just simply overjoyed at what $2 got me. I feel all of 4 years old [according to Jer] again. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

tuts my barrah..haha

2009-05-08T19:59:00.000+08:00

This is too much. I laughed so hard.

public speaking

2009-05-05T22:42:00.003+08:00

I'm sharing at Teens Time this Saturday. Gah! I LOATHE public speaking. It's not that I'm not any good at it, in fact I've always been told that I speak very well, especially during presentations eversince my college days. I just hate doing it though. The times I've had to public speak was because I didn't have a choice. If I could choose not to talk, I would not at all. Sometimes being a mute ain't so bad. I love writing. I can express myself in text and be oh so happy.

the cat whisperer

2009-05-05T02:15:00.011+08:00

Ponyo went to the vet to be neutered yesterday. A procedure like this requires that the cat/dog/animal not to be given food for a predetermined number of hours prior to the operation. So I heard (I was sleeping then) that Ponyo was starving before Mom and Nigel took her to the vet, and basically whimpering from hunger and possibly fear (because of all the vaccinations she had to undergo at the clinic).

I swear I must be getting soft in my old age because when I heard that Ponyo was left at the clinic to await her operation alone, I cried...in my room obviously. OK, maybe not cried. I teared. Same thing. Anyway, I kept picturing the cat thinking we must not have wanted her anymore because we didn't feed her even though she was hungry, and we brought her to a place that brought her fear and then left her to suffer alone. It was a rather sad thought and my heart broke to imagine Ponyo feeling that way. Just call me The Cat Whisperer.

PS: She's fine now. She just has this weird bald patch which cracks me up so bad, and it didn't help that Nigel was trying to get Ponyo to wear the Elizabethan collar (That cone shaped collar thingy that pets wear to prevent them from licking their wounds or stitches) because it brought to mind ridiculous jokes. I'm a being of conflicting emotions.

just clarifying...

2009-05-03T00:36:00.005+08:00

Nothing generates publicity like dirty linen being aired in the open. Then again one questions the reason for airing dirty garb in the open in the first place.

So lately I've had talks with some people because of what I posted a couple of entries back (I've taken it away now. It has served its purpose, whatever it may be, so it's time to bury it.). To be honest, I don't apologize for it, although I do feel bad for words that may seem harsh. So if I have disillusioned people, I'm sorry. Life happens, and it's not sunshine and rainbows all the time.

One thing I have to make clear though, I'm not unhappy with the existing leadership in church. In fact I think it's doing a pretty bang up job and I know for certain, that God has great plans in store for them. I'm just not happy about being where I am because I don't know whether it's where I'm called to serve. So it's a personal struggle.

I've always been a pretty good reader of people, and even though I don't really care much about how other people think of me or if their judging me (I have always believed that everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I don't want to dictate what other people think of me, or say of me.), I do however, am able to sense that through all this, I've let some people down, and some others may be disappointed. Being happy and making people happy has always been my philosophy in life, and right now, I know I'm not doing either, and it's not a nice feeling.

Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths...(Psalm 25:4)

I know some people are worried about me because hey, Tracy never has problems. Tracy is always carefree and free spirited, constantly joking or laughing and rarely sad or burdened. Which is why I find it hard to escape this stigma that I've carried around with me for most of my life. People don't expect me to have problems, and frankly, I really don't. My life is not a fairy tale, I just find that I'm not bothered by many things. It's just when things do get me down, they tend to be huge otherwise I'll always manage on my own. I'm independent that way. Which is why I find it hard to share with people my struggles because I know people have many other things on their plates and I don't want to add to their burdens because it's not fair to them. I never liked having people worrying about me.

I know for certain that God has an awesome plan for me. Somewhere out there is a Tracy-shaped hole waiting for me to fill. I know I'm meant for great things. We all are. I was joshing around with Bernice and Agnes today about how when I've passed away, I want the song "I've Got A Home In Glory Land" to be played and people to throw a party at my wake. I'm not kidding though. To think about it, I want people to be happy and to know for certain, that at the end of my life, I would have gone on to a better place up there with my Big Daddy. I know I belong to an everlasting kingdom that will never fade away. All these things I still hold fast to, so I'm not too far gone to be saved.

God help me to have Your heart...

If anything, the past few weeks have helped fan in me a desire to claw my way back to Him. I want to know what God's plans for me are, and only through spending time with Him and knowing His heart can I hope to find stable ground in this stormy sea I'm floating in now. I'm not going to run away. I'm done with that. I've grown up a lot over the years, and it's about time I made an effort to keep my appointment with God.

I guess all I'm trying to say is that I'm fine, really. There's nothing much people can do for me anyway, apart from praying. This is something I'm going to have to deal with alone. If anyone wants to ask me about this, I cannot give you an answer yet. I'm not much of a talker, so I never liked having conversations pertaining to things of these nature. I express myself better in text, and I'm hoping this entry will assure people that I'm OK. Every once in awhile, people will have to deal with stuff. This is my time. Other than that, I think I'm just really really tired.

random thoughts

2009-04-28T17:40:00.004+08:00

Follow your heart. Sometimes it's not as easy when you're not sure whether what your heart is telling you to do may be the right thing and not something brought on as a result of tiredness and exhaustion and the desire to cut yourself off completely and scream "I've had it!". How can making a decision be so hard?

To continue being a silent disgruntled sufferer or to start living?

The wrong decision would ultimately bring repercussions, and the right one would definitely result in plenty of talks with other leaders and much of what I would call 'spiritual blackmail'. I know for sure which decision would make me happy, but I'm not sure if that's what God wants for me. I guess I've got to keep praying.

In other news, I send my condolences to Marc and Aaron for the demise of their dad. Normally death doesn't really stir up anything in me [I'm a stony-hearted being], but the recent news of their dad's hospitalisation and sudden death made me wonder about our mortality and the fleetingness of life. It made me sad. Perhaps it's an age thing.

Cactus Juice

2009-04-13T17:40:00.007+08:00

So I was having dinner at the hawker centre on Saturday when the group of us adjourned to this stall selling all sorts of weird fruit and vegetable (and maybe other things) drink concoctions. Being the occasional curious and slightly insane person that I am, I decided to try a cup of cactus juice. Unpleasant and poisonous as it sounds, it didn't taste half as bad as I had expected it to be. It's supposed to help strengthen the immune system (at least that's what it says on the signboard) so here's to hoping that I won't start growing spikes out the top of my head.

Dealing with telemarketers

2009-04-08T09:58:00.004+08:00

Sometimes telemarketers can be incessantly annoying. Like how did they even get my phone number in the first place?! So anyway, I came across this hilarious video about how to deal with telemarketers. It's mean because they are trying to do their job after all, but it's so funny.

Rainbow

2009-03-23T14:26:00.010+08:00

"A rainbow is an optical and meteorological phenomenon that causes a spectrum of light to appear in the sky when the Sun shines onto droplets of moisture in the Earth's atmosphere. They take the form of a multicoloured arc, with red on the outer part of the arch and violet on the inner section of the arch.

More rarely, a secondary rainbow is seen, which is a second, fainter arc, outside the primary arc, with colours in the opposite order." - Wikipedia

It's amazing how something so scientifically boring can actually be so breathtaking. I saw a rainbow like that two evenings ago on my way home, and I think I'm a sucker for beautiful things of nature because I find it always brings me closer to God. It reminded me of its symbolism as the sign of the covenant that God made with Noah to never again flood the earth. In the dreary grey bleekness of the evening sky, 2 vivid rainbows stood out so clearly and strongly, and it reminded me of how God is the only shining light in this dark world, and which is getting darker by the minute. When there's a rainbow after a heavy downpour, one looks up into the sky, and is drawn to the colors of the rainbow than to the heavy grey clouds around it. I spent the entire time walking home just looking up at it, and I found that it brought much needed peace.

Monkey Kick Off

2009-02-23T12:02:00.003+08:00

People have to play this game: http://totebo.com/mko.php?c=qporqUotBouuForFBoUBopptotupqoD63HmoEqut
It's ridiculously addictive.

Bubbly!

2009-02-18T22:34:00.009+08:00

I'm 25 this year, a quarter of a century old. Yet the past 2 nights saw Daniel and myself blowing bubbles out the balcony since we couldn't blow it inside the house as the cat would probably die from poisonous-soapy-water-licking even though she'll definitely get a blast from trying to catch them little soapy spheres.

I used to collect different bottles of bubbles when I was a kid, and when Daniel got a bottle from his mates [Ultraman bottle!], he excitedly burst into my room 2 nights in a row with a "You wanna blow some bubbles?!" and I'll be all "Alright! Let's go!" and we'll dash into the balcony and take turns doing so and trying to blow them through our neighbors' windows. We crack ourselves up sometimes.

Moon Watching

2009-02-12T23:58:00.012+08:00

Lately I've taken to watching the moon [whenever it is visible] through my windows every night before I sleep. It reminds me of how tiny and insignificant I am as I get lost in that vast inky blackness of the night sky, and yet is a symbol of how precious I am to God that He still makes the moonlight shine over me as I slumber.

I think I've found my quiet place in this world, or at least until I move to Scotland. To sit at the foot of my bed and gaze silently out the windows and into the night sky where the moon is shining bright, it helps me quieten down my heart and mind, and I find peace and joy just marveling at how beautiful the night sky really is. When all around you is still, it does up the 'Peace' notch. It's times like these that I find talking to God and listening to Him much easier because of the lack of distractions around me.

I'm usually not one to have issues, but I was dealing with some earlier in the week, and let's just say that some realisations and revelations have forced me to seek solace in the arms of God. Some emotions are just harder to deal with and let go of. Yet I've never been one to dwell on negativity for long, and I did a lot of growing up in the past few days, and suddenly the world does seem a much brighter place. The day I realised that the thing I cared dearly for really doesn't exist, I've developed a greater love for the people around me because I know they will always be there regardless of what happens. As I was walking home that night, I looked up in the sky and for the first time this year, noticed the moon shining ever so brightly down on me, and that was when peace overtook the turmoil in my heart. It also marked the beginning of my nightly moon watch which I've tried to faithfully adhere to because I think everyone ought to be in a place of stillness and quiet everyday, and there is, after all, an inexplicable beauty about it which everyone should experience every once in awhile.

I cling to the cross

2009-01-29T12:15:00.011+08:00

So the IMF reckons that the world will come to an economic standstill. Indeed the future is bleak and no one dares to say when that silver lining over the horizon will rear it's shiny head. Couldn't come at a worse time for me since I'm looking for a job and those are few and far between. Fortunately I'm not one to worry and I can pretty much do a good job of entertaining myself so I'll patiently wait until a suitable position comes along.

At a time when so many people all over the world are helplessly struggling to make ends meet or coming to terms with the loss of their livelihoods, I recall something God said to me last December during worship. He said "When all else fades, can you still find Me?" I'd like to think that's a symbol of hope for the things to come, that even when everything falls apart, God is still waiting there for us to cling onto Him like a life raft. I cling to the cross, because that's the only way.

Paul Baloche - I Cling to the Cross

I cling to the cross and everything it means
I know it's the only hope there is for saving me
For without Your great mercy I would be forever lost
With a thankful heart I come
And cling to the cross

Standing at the empty tomb
Promises I have in You arise
I was made alive in You
Everything You said was true
You suffered, died, and rose to bring us life

I cling to the cross and everything it means
I know it's the only hope there is for saving me
For without Your great mercy I would be forever lost
With a thankful heart I come (Jesus I come)
With a thankful heart I come
With a thankful heart I come and cling to the cross

The world behind me, the cross before me
The world behind me, the cross before me
The world behind me, the cross before me
No turning back, no turning back

Primark @ Oxford Street

2009-01-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

Primark @ Oxford Street

I've suddenly developed a case of Primark Withdrawal Symptoms. Heck, I've got London Withdrawal Symptoms from the moment I touched back down in Singapore last August. I would give anything to fly back there again, but this time not as a tourist but as a holder of a job there and subsequently a permanent resident. But for now, I just want to go back and shop at Primark and stroll down Oxford Street laden with shopping bags. No goal is too far to reach, and I shall work towards bringing that goal closer to me as soon as possible.

best job in the world

2009-01-13T22:14:00.027+08:00

'Best job in the world' website crashes after thousands of Britons apply
By Matthew Drake

Interest in what has been dubbed the 'best job in the world' has been so great that the website advertising the position crashed overnight.

Tourist officials in Australia are looking for somebody to look after a desert island. Roughly 160,000 people flocked to the website to see how they could earn £70,000 to live on this island, watch whales and scuba dive.

It is the perfect job to help you forget freezing, credit-crunch Britain - and some 34% of the visitors to the site were British, according to reports.

Glorious: The view from the balcony of the caretaker's three-bedroom villa

However the Australian tourism board told the Telegraph the website is back up and running now - and they are bracing themselves for it to go 'a bit crazy'.

They are willing to pay £70,000 for someone to work 12 hours a month for six months while carrying out such duties as feeding turtles, watching whales and picking up the island's post.

No academic qualifications are needed, but good swimming skills and a love of snorkelling, scuba diving and other water sports are a must.

A passion for the great outdoors and the ability to speak English are also considered to be an advantage.

Lizard Island: Part of the candidate's territory

The successful candidate will have to demonstrate an 'adventurous attitude' coupled with a 'willingness to try new things'.

They will live rent-free on Hamilton Island (population 5,000), the 'jewel in the crown' of the Whitsunday Islands off the Queensland coast, and also look after some neighbouring islands.

The salary equates to an astonishing £972 an hour based on a flexi-time schedule of a 12-hour working month.

Dream location: The successful candidate will get to live here on Hamilton Island

In year-round sunshine - the top temperature this month will be 29c (84f) - they will stay in a three-bedroom villa with 'unbeatable' views of a crystalclear lagoon ringed by palm trees and white sandy beaches.

Free return flights, transfers, and transport around the island are included. Motor vehicles are prohibited, so golf buggies are the most common form of transport.

The cost of relocating any family members will have to be met by the new caretaker.

The offer might sound too good to be true, but the Queensland Tourist Board insists there is no catch.

Hamilton Island is dubbed the 'jewel in the crown' of the Whitsunday Islands

It says the role is an ideal opportunity for Britons to swap the rat race and the cold winter for a more relaxed life Down Under.

Jonathan Sloan, who works for Tourism Queensland in the UK, said: 'This is the best job in the world, there's no question about it.

'It has everything most people dream of - white sandy beaches, blue skies, warm seas and friendly people.

Activities board on Hamilton Island: Plenty of things to do when the successful candidate is not working

'It also boasts a generous salary package and requires only a few hours of relaxed work with minimum effort per week.'

Described as a 'once-in-a-lifetime opportunity', the role of 'Island Caretaker' is being advertised in 18 countries. Starting work on July 1, the successful applicant will have few responsibilities and can decide how best to fill their days.

But they will be required to produce a weekly online blog, photo diary and video updates of their time on the island.

The job offers an ideal opportunity for Britons to swap the 'rat race' and the cold winter for a more relaxed life

They will also have to give media interviews and email reports to chiefs at Tourism Queensland at the organisation's HQ in Brisbane.

Requirements for candidates include: 'Excellent communication skills, good written and verbal English skills, an adventurous attitude, willingness to try new things, a passion for the outdoors, and good swimming skills and enthusiasm for snorkelling and/or diving.'

Anthony Hayes, chief executive of Tourism Queensland, said the offer was being made to promote the island to a 'global market'.

'A passion for the great outdoors would be an advantage' for applicants

He said: 'The campaign aims to highlight the islands of the Great Barrier Reef and showcase Australia's unique island experience to the global market.'

Interested parties can apply by submitting a 60-second video outlining the reasons why they deserve to be picked. Applications close on February 22.

Tourism Queensland will select 11 potential candidates who will be flown to Hamilton Island for a selection process. The lucky applicant will be named on May 6.

The successful applicant will start work here on July 1

Man I would give anything for a job like that. It would be an experience doing practically nothing apart from being all 'Protector of the Environment and Animals' for 6 whole months. What I do best is swim, laze around and relax all day, and this job fits me to a T. I love being in the water and in the sun and doing all sorts of outdoorsy stuff and if I get paid for it, it's like Christmas coming early. Plus I love to write and documenting the whole experience weekly is like right up my alley. I'm so going to try my luck and apply for it. Now if only I can log onto the website because it has been near impossible due to heavy site traffic.

Quote of the Day

2009-01-06T20:40:00.007+08:00

Came across this quote on Nick's MSN pic:

"Only the good die young. Most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying pattern."

Pretty witty in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way.

Gesundheit

2009-01-05T18:04:00.002+08:00

Sneezing pandas rock.

Ponyo

2009-01-05T15:51:00.006+08:00

There's something to be said about the effects of small cute furry animals on even the most hardened of hearts. After 2 days of Ponyo's [Nigel's and Kim's kitten] temporary stay over, Mom is now even considering getting a puppy, which previously would only be a when-pigs-fly moment. I would love a puppy though. Hopefully Mom lets up more on her 'No Pets Allowed In The House' stance and it'll be onwards to Puppyville!

2009!

2009-01-01T12:03:00.021+08:00

HAPPY 2009 TO EVERYONE!!!

As I reflect on the year past, I realised I have a lot of things to thank God for. 2008 was in a sense, a year of milestones for me. I finally graduated with my Honors, I went back to London again [which is always a milestone for me], and...hmmm...I guess that's it. Oh well, I love to dwell happily on the littlest things.

Through all things, God has seen me through, especially the rough patches. School was not always a party, and there were tough moments which I thought I'll never get out of, but on hindsight, everything always turned out fine in the end whether I deserved it or not. I realised I was never in too deep of a rut to not come out of it victorious, which in most instances is a miracle in itself.

I would have to say that 2008 was pretty uneventful save for the rare moments of excitement but otherwise passed relatively quickly and without a hitch. Perhaps as age creeps up on me, time seems to pass more rapidly because I find that there are more things on my plate to busy myself with rather than sit around restlessly when I was younger and hoping time would pick up speed. It's scary to think that I'll be a quarter of a century old come October, but that's in 9 months so I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, although old age does seem a lot closer on this side of 2009. Nevertheless, I'm excited to kick off a new year with a fresh new slate which I'll hopefully not screw up on the way. Nothing like a fresh beginning to pen down some resolutions and goals:

1. Get my relationship right with God [always an ongoing process]

2. ~~Pink hair~~

3. Get a job

4. Get an acoustic guitar

5. Start living healthily

6. Improve my bass and guitar skills

7. Visit London again

8. Finish reading my Bible

9. [This list will probably grow longer as time passes but for now it's all I can come up with off the top of my head]

mood = contemplative

2008-12-13T20:25:00.008+08:00

MercyMe - Joseph's Lullaby [The Christmas Sessions album]

Go to sleep my Son

This manger for your bed

You have a long road before You

Rest Your little head

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?

Do You understand the price?

Or does the Father guard Your heart for now

So You can sleep tonight?

Go and chase Your dreams

This world can wait for one more moment

Go and sleep in peace

I believe the glory of Heaven

Is lying in my arms tonight

But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment

Simply be my child

Go to sleep my Son

Baby, close Your eyes

Soon enough You'll save the day

But for now, dear Child of mine

Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight

What Christmas means to me = the knowledge and acknowledgement of the terrible price of my freedom. That Jesus embraced humanity despite His divinity and came to earth as a marked man, to take that painful road of suffering and living His 33 years knowing that His time on earth would end in death upon the cross.

mumsie

2008-12-10T09:30:00.001+08:00

I feel domesticated today. I shall go bake me some chocolate chip cookies.

when everything fades

2008-12-07T20:25:00.002+08:00

When all else fades away, can we still look through the mists and find the Cross?

ouch

2008-12-05T21:42:00.003+08:00

So I did the klutziest thing ever today when I slammed the car door onto my right thumb. I may have a high pain threshold but this hurts like heck. I finally realised how much music meant to me because the first thought that flashed instantly through my head when my thumb got squashed was that I'll never be able to play bass guitar again....until I comforted myself that my right thumb isn't really needed but the other fingers instead. Still it sure makes doing things slightly trickier because I kind of need my thumb for plenty of things like SMS-ing and playing my PSP. The curse of the opposable thumbs. Can't live without them.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

2008-12-04T16:00:00.014+08:00

MercyMe - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

One thing I love about the Christmas season is the music that comes along with it. There are only so many Christmas songs out there, but I love how different bands and singers have played around with these songs and made them their own. Take for instance this timeless song 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'. I love what MercyMe has done to it. In one word - Brilliant.

random reflections...

2008-11-28T23:28:00.007+08:00

How depraved this world has become that people would resort to violence as the only way to solve their problems or simply just to make a statement. In light of the recent Mumbai attacks and the political chaos in Thailand, I see this world spiralling downwards into a pit of perpetual darkness.

Extreme fundamentalists groups have their own set of ideals and laws which adhere to what I would call, a strand of brainless-waste-of-time-barbaric-and-abhorrent principles, if 'principles' is even a right word to describe what these people [or animals/beasts/creatures that don't belong on the face of this planet] operate by. At least once in their lives I'm sure they possessed the capabilities to differentiate between what's right from the complete departure of their senses when doing something. Seeing how this world has become, that sense of discernment has certainly gone down the gutter, or been so warped and twisted by the people heading these extremist movements that all that their puppet-ish lives have to offer them depends very much on the people controlling the strings. The founding members of these groups seem kind of petty in a way. Just because they felt that someone or something has picked on them doesn't give them the right to take countless of lives, a majority of whom are innocent. Sometimes I feel as though they derive some sort of sadistic thrill from all the bloodshed. It's certainly not going to change the way the world feels about their principles, or lack of, and certainly not going to force people to give in to them, so their wasting their time and the time of others, and it is stupid to think that only through violence can one attain anything.

So here's the struggle that I face. As a Christian, we're called to love everyone, and pray for our enemies. I don't know about the rest of you out there, but I find great difficulty in loving these people. If there's anything to be admired about them, it's the zeal that they possess in standing up for their beliefs. Yet I condemn their methods of execution. Man has fallen so deep into the pit that it's hard for humankind to climb back out while relying on our own strengths alone. It is heartbreaking, I'm sure, for God to see the world that His Son suffered so much at the cross for become a writhing cesspool of corruption, sin and general blackness. Yet it is always darkest before the dawn, and our hopes are placed in the coming of Jesus Christ again, and as we anticipate that glorious day when everything will once again be beautiful and perfect, we begin to live with a vision and a hope that this darkness will not last too long.

As Christmas comes again, I do pray for some semblance of good spirit, good will, and love to fill the hearts of these extremists and perhaps wrought some change in them, as well as pray for some semblance of hope for the people who grieve for the loss of their loved ones. For now, maybe I'll embrace the hippie lifestyle of 'Feeling the love' and 'Spreading the love'. So peace out, man.

36 days to Christmas...

2008-11-19T09:09:00.007+08:00

This is premature, but CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!! This season always sends me into transports of kiddish delight. People seem much warmer too, which makes walking around outside a pleasant experience. Now if only it would snow.

A True Blue Miracle [A Sesame Street Christmas OST]

I believe in miracles and I can tell you why

Once a year the street I live on sparkles like the sky

All hung with lights for Christmas

Twinkling everywhere

The world turns bright for Christmas

And if that isn't a true blue miracle I don't know what one is

I believe in miracles I know because I've seen

Once a year the place I walk is filled with trees of green

And pine cone smells of Christmas

Floating through the air

To jingle bells of Christmas

And if that isn't a true blue miracle I don't know what one is

But the greatest wonder of them all

Is not what's happening around you, it's the way, you start to be

Yes the greatest wonder of them all is how your

Heart is filled with love

You start to light up like a Christmas tree

Feelings feel so wonderful you have to let them show

Maybe that's why everyone begins to get a glow

And fill their hearts with Christmas

Spirit they can share

That's the best part of Christmas

And if that isn't a true blue miracle I don't know what one is

And if that isn't a true blue miracle Elmo don't know what one is

jerkism 101

2008-11-11T19:27:00.006+08:00

So I had the displeasure of meeting the most unpleasant little man at an interview at Six Planes Pte Ltd [Yes, I'm not afraid of stating the name of the company so friends will read this and give that place a wide berth. Just call me martyr.] yesterday. I consider myself an extremely mild-mannered and peace-loving person and rarely do I get ticked off, and when I do, it really is under extraordinary circumstances.

The moment we introduced ourselves, he looked disinterested and bored, neither cracking a smile nor offering his hand for a shake as most people [then again, after the interview, I began thinking twice as to the category of species he belonged to] do. He began asking questions in what I could only describe as a nonchalant tone, and never seemed very interested in any of my replies, occasionally interrupting me and often looking as if he was biting back more interruptions.

When time finally came for him to ask for my portfolio, I handed it over with a mix of trepidation, the reason for which soon became clear because he started criticizing and even insulting my works and at one point in time, even the lecturers of schools nowadays, and started this furious diatribe over everything he saw. Harsh comments flew rapidly out of his mouth, and it was all I could do not to toss a chair at him. Granted one of his staff came to take two chairs away including the one beside me, perhaps in anticipation of what could only be called her boss' Only Reason For Living Is So He Can Insult One Person A Day segment and didn't want to run the risk of someone actually flinging a chair at him. There I was, sitting quietly and letting him rain on me and trying very hard to be patient and civil although if looks could kill, he would have died several times over because of the steely-unwavering-and-never-blinking glare I fixed at him. Some more minutes passed as he continued on his one-man monologue and I snapped. Well, I did shoot back a few retorts laced lethally with sarcasm as he tried to interrupt me once more, and I finally cut him off midway and finished off my piece ["Obviously I'm not what you're looking for"] before standing up and walking off with nary a second glance. I realised I was still holding on to his name card so I flung it over my shoulder as I was walking down the stairs. Shouldn't have done that but I was just so incensed. Did feel like James Bond though.

I'm usually not one to dwell on unhappiness or negative emotions as well, so the anger abated by the time I reached the bustop, although I did wish I had put him in his rightful place [namely under a rock] more firmly. I did have much more things to throw at him verbally although I'm certain things would get uglier. Certainly there were plenty words fighting to get out of my mouth. Thankfully I'm not one who says things without thinking first.

Looking back, it certainly made for an interesting day, although I think I may have some underlying anger issues. The people I told about it were shocked that I dared to just walk off in the middle of an interview. I won't say it's my first time. I shouldn't be feeling proud about it as well, but some of my friends thought it was cool the way I exited albeit shocking because no one ever imagined that I had it in me. I guess years of competitive swimming and waterpolo did build me up to be tough. That guy picked on the wrong girl. I certainly didn't care about his useless and baseless comments and their finality was sealed by me walking off. I'm just glad I wouldn't be working for someone like that. He never seemed interested in hiring me at all yet he laid into me mercilessly like he got a kick out of doing that, and I do not mind my lecturers criticizing my work because I know I'm not the best designer, but they are paid for it and it's their job. This maggot was a complete stranger who had no right whatsoever to tear my works down. For anyone concerned for my mental and emotional wellbeing, I'm fine. It takes more than a worthless person to bring me down. Life is too short to waste time dwelling on things like that anyway. I've always lived by that. In the meantime, I can do so many other things while I'm free. I believe the right job will come one day. I just have to be patient, and I've got alot of that.

heehee...

2008-11-07T22:12:00.006+08:00

Adrian showed me this a few minutes ago. Just thought it was pretty funny. Way to facilitate movement.

something to chew on

2008-11-02T22:31:00.009+08:00

When we think of the temporal, God thinks of the eternal.

When we think of comfort, God thinks of character.

When we think of an easy time, God is thinking about making us into better people.

- Greg Laurie

previously on...

2008-10-29T22:46:00.016+08:00

So I finally caved and got myself a sexy beast of a camera:

I do love taking photos, and armed with a much better camera, my shutterbug days are finally here.

On other fronts...

Avenue Q has finally come to Singapore! Or rather, Avenue Q is finally showing in Singapore along with a local cast (I think..definitely not the West End cast for sure). Daniel has been rather keen on watching it eversince he heard me listening to it's soundtrack. I think I'll bring him to watch it. Not that I'm a particularly loving sister, but I do so want to watch it again and to relive that slice of London which I enjoyed when I watched Avenue Q at the Noël Coward Theatre last year.

Homer Simpson: Hey, they have chairs with wheels and here I am using my legs like a sucker!

It feels like...

2008-10-13T10:14:00.003+08:00

...any ordinary day. I'm 24 today, yet I don't feel any different from when I was 18. No aching bones, no painful joints, no increase in the number or wrinkles nor liver spots and no white hair..yet. Guess this is what it feels like to be older. Birthdays no longer mean special treats and blowing out birthday candles while your classmates sing Happy Birthday in the background, each clutching a small bundle of sweets that you've excitedly distributed in class for the happy occasion. I woke up to the sound of my SMS tone and then played some PSP, packed my drawers, swept the floor and cleaned my table. My further evolution from girl to woman has been uneventful, but I'm happy for simple wishes from people I love and simple get-together meals with them. Another year, another 365 days of undeserved grace and mercy from Daddy'O above. Happy Birthday to me.

And even though I know he'll never read this, I just like to boast about the fact that we share the same birthday, so Happy Birthday Ian Thorpe!

technophobia

2008-10-06T10:19:00.002+08:00

Not too sure if it's happening to anyone else out there, but Hotmail has been a pain in the rear end lately. It keeps saying 'Done but with errors on page' at the bottom left corner of the screen and prevents me from checking or deleting emails. So now I have a choked inbox with 32 new mails [although I'm not trying to say that I'm popular *snort*] and no way whatsoever of checking or deleting them. Which really bugs me because I'm anal retentive and I like my email inbox to be clean and neat, not overflowing with unchecked emails. Technology can sometimes be a bane to a person's existence. The classic 'Can't live with it, can't live without it' scenario. Gone were the good 'ol days of clubbing a potential mate over his/her head and dragging him/her back to the cave, which was about the only communication people had back then and which managed to survive many years down the road until technology came about.

Cinnamon rolls!

2008-09-21T00:27:00.004+08:00

I never understood why some people love the smell of freshly baked bread in the morning. My sojourns past the bakery never converted me. I always thought the smells were too bread-ish. Until my granny nature took over and I began baking cinnamon rolls and realised that the smell of baking cinnamon rolls is really yummy. Now I love the smell of freshly baked cinnamon-spiced bread, not only in the morning, but any time of the day. I'm aware that I'm starting to sound like a promotional advert for the smell of cinnamon rolls. I shall stop now.

It may not look pretty but I will perfect the shape one day!

Boomdeyada

2008-09-09T11:14:00.007+08:00

Most brilliant ad ever.

Random words

2008-09-09T09:49:00.003+08:00

Catfish = An irony in itself

Convocation 2008

2008-09-03T23:56:00.002+08:00

So I officially graduate today with Convocation 2008. According to Mom, everyone should attend stuff like that because it's a 'Once In A Lifetime' opportunity, and hence I found myself decked out in my graduation gown with the silly cap and wedged among similar Harry Potter wannabes as we flapped around Suntec City Ballrooms 1-3 for our convocation. Perhaps it was meant to be grand and solemn but I did find the procession of deans, lecturers, guests of honor excessively dramatic because of the epic-move-sounding music and them dressed in their various gowns to signify the various educational levels each graduated with. I was happy to see my classmates again though. What better way to do a little catching up than at a convocation and all dressed silly together? Still it was a good reminder for me as Boo Junfeng [I had no idea he was from Lasalle until today] gave a short speech as the cohort's best student, naturally what with all the awards he has won, and what struck me most was this:

"Basically this certificate stands for 'Welcome to the real world.'"

Time to start looking for a job.

London Day Six

2008-08-18T22:59:00.007+08:00

Day Six
Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road and soon-to-be somewhere in the air

The last day of London. Somehow an enjoyable trip always manages to seem far too short. Dad and I rounded up our last day with a visit to Morrisons for some supermarket shopping, and perhaps just to finish up the loose change jangling in our pockets, after which Dad headed down to Primark to change the shirts he bought for smaller ones while I headed back to the room to while away the rest of the time with Nickelodeon before we had to leave for Heathrow Airport. So I say goodbye to the place I called home for the past 5 days with some images:

View from the hotel room window - right side

View of Camden Lock on the left of the hotel

What I basically survived on for two weeks last year, no complaints there

Marks & Spencer food hunt unveils treasures everywhere

Paddington Tube Station, first stop before the trip and last stop of the trip - Harry Potter anyone?

Travelling with Dad does have its perks when it comes to airport lounges. Since Dad was a frequent flier and a gold member of some club whose name eludes me, it puts him on par with first class travellers and so grants him and guests access to the First Class/Business Class lounge while waiting for the departure gates to open. Here the view of the planes and runways are great, free flow of yummy food and drinks and the TV make waiting fun, and the toilets are worthy for me to pee in. For the benefit of people who don't know my idiosyncrasies, I don't like to pee outside because I can't stand dirty toilets, which is why I survive 13 hour flights with nary a toilet trip.

The moment we took our seats on the plane, I started to miss London already. Last year I couldn't wait to go home, but this year all I wanted to do was stay in London for as long as possible. I still have a long life to live though, and like Arnold in Terminator, I'll Be Back. Still, I tried to enjoy the flight as much as possible because I love being in planes, but the return trip was fraught with incessant crying from this young toddler that I wanted to just stuff her in the overhead compartment [I like kids, maybe not as much as the next person, but hours of non-stop crying can get to you] to drown out her cries, and a whiff of vomit as another young girl nearby puked all over her book and dad's leg, but thankfully we were touching down so I didn't have to put up with breathing through my mouth for long. And so, I'm back home in Singapore and looking forward to the next time I can visit London again. For now, I'll content myself with the treasures I've brought back in my extremely heavy bag.

London Day Five

2008-08-17T01:36:00.008+08:00

Day Five [Grand Finale]
Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road

It's shopping again, this time with Dad in tow as I brought him down the well-trodden streets of Oxford, Mayfair, and Piccadilly Circus. A little father-daughter bonding while shopping. Thankfully we didn't get lost, and I know I've heard it many times, but I must say that the male species generally dislike being told directions to a certain place, preferring to wander there on their own even if they do not have the slightest clue which direction to head. Anyway, I managed to introduce Dad to the joys of shopping at Primark. There's always room for one more person in my haven. Now he knows why I come back to the hotel each day with a big Primark paper bag choked full of the day's treasures.

Once more I have to say that I'm certainly warmed to the friendliness in London. I was walking along Bond Street with my Primark bags when this lady stopped me in my tracks because she probably wanted me to sign something or buy something or donate money to something, and normally I avoid these people like the plague [not that I'm selfish but sometimes too much of a good thing is not good] in Singapore but this lady stopped me with:

Lady: Hello lovely! Have you got a minute?

Me: Sure

Lady: [looks into Primark bags] What have you got there?!

Me: Some shopping..clothes..shoes

Lady: Wow! [looks into my blue contact lensed eyes and does doubletake] Are those your eyes?!

Me: Oh no no! Their fake..haha.

Lady: I see! So what are you doing now?

Me: I just finished my studies.

Lady: Oooh. So how long have you been living here?

Me: Oh no! I'm just here on holiday.

Lady: Oh I see. Wow! Holiday. Alright, you take care and have a nice day!

Me: You too! Nice meeting you!

Lady: Nice meeting you too!

And then just add 'big smiles' before and after every line and that's basically the gist of our short encounter. Very pleasant and if I was a Londoner, I would sign whatever she asked me to sign, turn her down nicely if I have to buy whatever she asked me to buy, or donate money to whatever she's helping promote. If I'm not wrong it's some 'Save the Environment' thing judging from the vest she was wearing. Anyhoo, I like friendly people.

London Day Four

2008-08-17T00:43:00.006+08:00

Day Four
Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road

My aim in London is to walk, walk, and walk. The weather's nice enough that I won't end up sweating like a pig, and the buildings are intriguing enough to keep me wanting more. Walking helps me to also soak up the sights and sounds of London that taking the Tube does not allow. Sure helps lose weight too. Haha. Although the loss of 5kg in 2 weeks feat is impossible to repeat this time due to daily dinners out with Dad.

My day started off with a short Tube ride down to Chalk Farm Station before heading across Bridge Approach to Primrose Hill and then across that to Regent's Park. Loads of greenery and peaceful surroundings, and exactly what I love to be walking through. Some people don't understand my love and appreciation for nature and greenery, but I just experience a certain sort of peace when surrounded by trees, fields, lakes, flowers, and the sound of birds and perhaps a dog or two prancing around the field. Places like these tend to be relatively scarce of people especially in the late mornings, and I like talking to God as I walk in an environment such as this because I like thanking Him for the beauty and magnificence of His creation which living in a metropolitan society in Singapore is very hard to do because I can't find that niche of peace and quiet in the midst of traffic and the hustle and bustle of daily life.

Bridge Approach

Top of Primrose Hill

Halfway down Primrose Hill

Random house that I found nice and always wanted to live in one like that

Regent's Park

Regent's Park - St. John's Lodge

I turned onto Baker Street at the end of Regent's Park, and what a feeling of nostalgia swept through me as streets start becoming familiar. It was a short 2 weeks stay at Baker Street last year, but it was enough to instill this sense of familiarity and home as I set foot in this area once more. From here I walked down to Oxford Circus for another day of shopping at my haven - Primark. I love cheap things that look expensive.

More shoes to add to my collection

London Day Three

2008-08-13T16:37:00.011+08:00

Day Three

Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road

Museums await as I, armed with fresh batteries for my camera, headed down to Tottenham Court Road for the Cartoon Museum. As seasoned as I am travelling by Tube, I still managed to get on the wrong train heading down the wrong branch of the Northern Line and took a joy ride down the underground tunnels towards Old Street where I got off. Before I get dismissed as a doofus, let me redeem myself by saying that I did take the train from the correct platform. I just never expected alternate trains to branch off in two different directions. In the 2 weeks I spent in London last year, I count myself lucky that every train I hopped on was the correct one and so never gave thought to the possibility that even though I may take a train from the correct platform, it could head off onto another branch of the line. Sounds a wee bit complicated to explain so forgive the rambling.

Anyway, I got off at Old Street and since I was in London to soak in the London-ness of the country, I decided it was no big and I could either look like a lost fool by crossing to the opposite platform and taking the train backwards, or I could walk to the next station since my Oyster card was on a one-week pass and I could soak in the sights along the way. I chose the latter and I walked from Old Street Tube Station to Angel Tube Station where I caught the train back towards Camden Town to try taking the correct train.

Once set on the right track (no pun intended), I headed off down to Leicester Square to hit the National Portrait Gallery and decided to skip the Cartoon Museum altogether because I didn't feel particularly cartoon-ish. I guess I'll never be one for fine art appreciation because I got considerably bored after the third room of paintings and just simply glanced through each exhibited work of art with a polite but hasty appreciation. I clocked a total of about 2 hours in there and I thought it quite the achievement seeing how quickly I passed through room after room. The view outside is spectacular on the other hand. I guess I'm really not the stuffy art lover I thought I would be. One thing I wanted to bring up was this bunch of Asians [Koreans?] singing in the middle of all the bustle to raise funds and they were singing "Here I Am To Worship" and when I caught the all too familiar melody, I was catapulted back home where this song is often sang at church. Reminds me of the homogeneity of God. Though separated by distance, race, culture and language, people still sing the same songs of worship and praise to Him.

National Portrait Gallery

View outside National Portrait Gallery - Trafalgar Square

Trafalgar Square

St Martin's-in-the-Fields Church

Walking towards Covent Garden from the gallery, I turned onto Neal Street hoping to garner a few good deals on shoes even though I wasn't planning to do much shopping and hence only brought out about £15, so there was nothing much I could buy or anything worth buying. After some shop-hopping, I found myself at Tesco to soothe my Krispy Kreme desire for this year. I love Krispy Kreme donuts. One point to note though, is that it's amazing how nothing has changed over one year. Everything looks the same as it did one year ago. Good in a way because I was able to find my way around easily, very much like a local *grin*.

Krispy Kreme Glazed Donuts

Day Three shaped up to be a short day as I stopped by Camden Town's M&S [Marks & Spencer] for some grocery shopping around 3pm before walking back to the hotel. I met some weird Jamaican guy along the way who tried chatting me up, which scared me a little because I didn't know how to reject him and 'run' away without incurring his wrath in case he takes out a knife and stabs me in the middle of the road as a result of his inebriated state. Reminds me of a time at Vivocity where the same thing happened to me *shudder*.

Once back in the relative safety of the hotel, I pretty much lazed around the room watching Nickelodeon shows, which really are entertaining for a big kid like me, and dinnered with Dad and his colleagues at some random Italian restaurant in the evening. That's Day Three in a nutshell.

London Day Two

2008-08-11T22:41:00.008+08:00

the long awaited [I hope] Day Two
Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road

Museums in London are worth exploring, firstly because most of them are free, and they really are interesting, but mainly because a day or two at the various museums in London will guarantee a fun time and save you a few quid along the way. Geek at heart or savvy spender? You decide.

The day started off with a tube ride down to Tottenham Court Road and a few minutes of lost wandering down the streets before reaching the British Museum. Exhibitions were basically the same ones I saw last year sans those that had been under construction. Loads of tourists and picture taking and as I was about to join in the fray, my camera batteries died on me. So much for museum hopping and photo taking.

All's not lost if your day doesn't go according to plan. Flexibility is the key even for someone as anal retentive as me. So I embarked on a day of shopping instead. A stroll down Oxford Circus, Regent Street and Mayfair brought me past summer sales galore. The thing about shopping in London is that good deals are hard to find even with the sale because of the exchange rate. But when one chances upon deals like shoes for £4, you know it's worth buying. That's why Primark is my haven.

Primark @ Oxford Street

Once again London warmth and friendliness got to me. The woman in charge of the changing rooms at Dorothy Perkins was like "Have a great day dear! I'll see you again! Bye bye!" and the cashier at Primark greeted customers with "And how are you today?". Sure puts the friendly wide-smiling bug in me that I felt like smiling at everyone I met, and which I did to the porter back at the hotel, whom I greeted with a big smile and "Hello!". Feels good.

So that's the end of Day Two. A satisfying day of shopping culminating in aching feet and tomato and basil pasta salad with British chicken. I can live on those forever.

London Day One

2008-08-05T20:13:00.006+08:00

OK, I guess this is overdue, but I reckoned I need to be in the proper mood before I can record my week in London enthusiastically. So here's a day-by-day account of my past week in said amazing city.

Day One
Location: Holiday Inn, Camden Lock, 30 Jamestown Road

It's Goodbye Singapore and Helloooo London! But not before a super long flight [12 hours] and some really boring movies. Long flights and bad movies don't go hand-in-hand. Never. I usually try not to sleep on planes because I want to enjoy every single moment of flying out of the continent and into another. However, after some 'Kungfu Panda' and 'Spiderwick Chronicles', I fell asleep halfway through a 20 minute Simpsons episode and 15 minutes into '10,000 B.C.' That show's really not that exciting as the trailers have shown. An episode of 'Friends', 'Two and a Half Men' and 'How I Met Your Mother' revived me for abit before I gave up and slept the rest of the way.

The lovely thing about British Culture is that people are generally friendly even to complete strangers, and I got my taste of that even before arriving in London. Sitting beside me on the flight was this British dude, and he was chatting to me and this other woman sitting on his other side, more to the other woman than me because I basically have zero social skills so I don't have the ability to prolong conversations with complete strangers. OR I need time to adjust from frosty 'Mind-Your-Own-Business-Singapore' to 'Hello!-I-Have-No-Idea-Who-You-Are-But-Let's-Chat-Anyway-London'. Sometimes one just has to catch me in the right mood.

With about another hour or so left to the flight, I pushed up the window shade to get a peek outside and the dude [kindda forgot what he said his name was so henceforth shall be referred to as The Dude] leaned over to see and asked if I could see anything and I said "Yeah. Sky." and pushed up the shade all the way to prove my point and he said "All you can see is the big wing eh?" to which I gave an awkward sounding "Heh heh" and fell silent. Curse my lack of social skills. As land and rooftops started appearing below us, he pointed to some landmark and told me it was the Millennium Dome and commented on it for abit while I listened, in silence while trying to look interested. I was, but I wasn't feeling it then. I really need my friendly pill.

At least I started to warm up to The Dude the moment we got off the plane and we shared a laugh over the slow moving travellator in the airport. I swear it was so slow that the moment I got on, I wondered whether it was working, and The Dude apparently shared my sentiments because we took some jibes at the travellator and he turned around to complete strangers and started joking with them about it. So we were this group of about 5 laughing people and no one would ever suspect we were complete strangers to each other. This is exactly what British culture is about. I don't know about the other parts of Britain, so this is exactly what London culture is about. People are just so cordial to one another. If I ever do so much as smile at the next person in Singapore much less talk to them about say, the weather, I would be classified as a complete nutso and given a wide berth.

So feeling all happy and warm and starting to feel friendly, the London trip was shaping up to a great start until I switched my phone back on and found out Dad's flight would be delayed and I was told to go ahead to the hotel and check in first. I panicked. Naturally. After all I'm in a foreign country with only the vaguest of ideas where the hotel is and I definitely did not know how to get there and I didn't want to pay through my nose to hop onto a taxi, and curse my lack of social skills once more because I will never dare to ask someone for directions. Yet everything seemed so familiar the moment I bought my Oyster ticket and took the Tube. Pondering which line to take felt familiar, changing of trains felt familiar, crossing the roads felt familiar [even some jaywalking] and reading the London Paper on the train made me feel very much like one of the Londoners even though I had a huge backpack with me. Darn the hold this country has on me. As I journeyed to the hotel, I felt like I was returning home after being away for one year. I love London.

8 hours to London Baby!

2008-07-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

The most difficult part of any trip is the packing. There's always the question of 'How much should I bring?', 'Is this going to be enough clothes/underwear/whatever?', 'What if there's an emergency, should I bring more?', and the debates go on forever. Maybe I'm secretly a Closet Auntie because I always want to bring plenty of extra things in case of emergencies. I think it's just me being paranoid, but surprisingly I always manage to fit everything into one backpack, and that backpack somehow magically transforms into some Doraemon pocket where it only looks small, but I can fit both camels and elephants in there.

It's 8 hours to LONDON BABY! and I've finally managed to pack everything [I hope]. Now time for my beauty regime of epilating, earrings cleansing, eyebrows plucking and trimming and toenails cutting. Perhaps I'm vain, but I want to fully enjoy London without worrying about stray strands of hair which shouldn't be there. So off I go, and I'll see ya folks in a week's time!

4 days to go...

2008-07-24T12:38:00.002+08:00

For some reason I've been really knackered lately. I'll put it down to old age and too much free time to know what to do about it. Anyhoo, London's coming up in 4 days! Excitement mounts....

Grace Cup 2008

2008-07-21T23:51:00.003+08:00

It's the second [or third?] Monday I've woken up with a sore backside and aching thighs but it sure feels good to play some sort of competitive sport again. It doesn't even matter that us COA netball girls have been losing in the past 3 matches of the Grace Cup because considering that none of us in the team sans maybe three of us have played netball before, it was quite the achievement. At least we have been improving in our scores each week. It can only go up from there. It's been a long time since I've played any sport competitively. Way too long. So I kind of missed the adrenaline rush coupled with some nervousness before any game, but it's the life I'd led for 11 years [swimming/water polo], so it's a familiar homecoming for me. Granted we don't look half as cool as the image above, but darn it, we had fun. Or at least I did. Sure the first match was frustrating because we were all new to the game and hence were running around the court like half decapitated chickens while the whistle was blown at us all the time for one mistake or another, but I got used to it by the second match and I'm kind of sad that we have only 3 more matches to go, 1 of which I most probably may miss unless my plane from London touches down in Singapore early. Speaking of which, it's London Baby! in 6 days.

London-bound once more

2008-07-15T18:47:00.004+08:00

Jamie Cullum - London Skies

All good things come to those who wait. Just that I've stopped waiting for them and settled for other alternatives, which was why I was awakened this morning by Mom bursting into room trailed by a confused-over-the-hullabaloo Nigel and telling me that my London flight has been confirmed. I'd never had my brain go into overdrive right from the moment I wake up, and I must say that I escape from the throes of sleep pretty quickly because the moment I was shaken awake by the news, a million and one things ran through my mind, namely the Bangkok trip that I was planning with Minyen the night before in place of my London trip, and getting hold of Lynette as soon as possible to let her know that I can't go for some SAJC concert anymore. With the conflict going on in my mind, I must have met this news looking dazed and unexcited about it because Mom kept asking whether I still wanted to go [Nigel: "Where's Jie Jie going?"].

Me going to London is a miracle in itself, one which I have stopped praying for and accepted the fact that I wouldn't be able to go. Yesterday was the deadline for confirmation of tickets, and even by 6pm, SIA said there was no chance and my flight would automatically be cancelled. Yet this morning, Dad decided to check the flight status online [probably just for the fun of it because he didn't need to as SIA said they would email him yesterday if my flight was confirmed but they didn't] and he found that my flight was confirmed. Still, I don't know whether to be happy or sad because I may still be reeling from the shock of an unexpected miracle. I'll probably be happy about it tomorrow I guess.

footprints in the sand

2008-07-08T23:57:00.006+08:00

Leona Lewis - Footprints in the Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You most You would leave me."

The Lord replied:

"My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

- Carolyn Carty, 1963

when it all comes crumbling down

2008-07-08T22:31:00.004+08:00

I'd never been so afraid of making a wrong decision, but when I found out yesterday that my London trip would most likely not materialise, I got to thinking about the various possibilities that I could engage just so I can be there.

When Dad started booking the air tickets, it never dawned upon me that the return flights would be something hard to get, and I probably took it for granted that the flights to and from London would be settled then, and hence marked my early celebrations. Until I realised that the return tickets were put on the waiting list, and chances for me to return are slim because mine is a free ticket after all, and free tickets get the lowest priority and are only allocated a limited number of seats per plane. I prayed like crazy for a chance to go to London again, and when the impossibility of my trip was nearly cast in concrete yesterday, my disappointment was great, if not, heartbreaking. I was angry at God for awhile, that He couldn't even allow me one week to enjoy myself before starting work. Even though I knew that His plans were to prosper me, and that it's probably not His time for me to return to London again, I had a tough time believing it. Not being a wussy or anything, but I did pretty much cry myself out because I felt like my happiness was being snatched away. On hindsight, it is all pretty silly because such materiality was all I ever lived for. Even though I'm still disappointed, my feelings are pretty much muted now. Being angry with God is like fighting a losing battle. I can only ask now, for His forgiveness and mercy in light of my petulance.

Still, I ploughed through London's classified ads today hoping to find someplace to rent for a few days until the next available flight back, or a job I can take to tide me over the months that I'll be living and working there, and that is the huge decision I'm afraid to make. Melissa and Cheyenne make it seem so easy to work and live there on their own, but I don't see myself having the social skills to cope well in a foreign land with neither family, friends, nor finances, not to mention a roof over my head. I have it all planned out though. I will apply for a few jobs now, and in the 5 days that I have a hotel to stay in because of Dad, I can go apartment and job hunting. I'm just afraid because then it would pretty much seal the deal on the fact that I'll probably be living in London for at least 6 months, which is a decision so big and sudden that it scares me.

I know I should not let my desire to go to London cloud all rational thinking from my head. So I've decided that if it's not time for me to go there, I'll work here first and gain more experience of the working world, and then armed with this experience, I won't feel such trepidation at working in a foreign land. I'll just have to live with this disappointment for now, and maybe settle for Bangkok and loads of cheap shopping, which does help cheer me up a little. They don't call it retail therapy for nothing. I still hope for a future where I'll be working and settled somewhere, preferably London or Scotland, and I don't really know where to start. It's like feeling about in the dark and banging off walls and furniture, and sometimes I'm lazy and can't be arsed about planning out my future in detail and my myopic present is limited to the confines of the PSP screen, but I do have a rough skeleton of my 'Plan to Infiltrate Scotland and Plant Myself There' so I'll try and work with that and gain support along the way.

the backstroke of the west

2008-07-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

Talk about direct translation. I chanced upon this hilarious blog entry which is classic gold in all its glory: http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html

in His time

2008-06-25T21:16:00.004+08:00

The past week has taught me alot about serving. In the run up to Chilling Under the Stars, as usual there were plenty left undone because people have this tendency to do things at the last minute. I guess it's the panic that motivates people to finally get started on things they were supposed to be doing 4 weeks ago. I'm guilty of this syndrome myself, but when you're in charge of a big event and you're left to basically tie up the loose ends on your own because everyone is working or studying, it just wears you down and many times this week I felt like giving up and not doing this anymore because suddenly there wasn't a point in taking on the responsibilities of others on top of my own, as well as worrying about our dwindling finances when there were still much to be purchased, and also worrying about how the event will turn out on Saturday.

Sometimes it's hard to work with friends because if they're pushed too hard, the friendship may suffer, and if people are not pushed, things do not get accomplished. I'm not the perfect person to be griping about the working habits of others because I do things at the last minute as well, especially with regards to school projects. There is a difference though, between being responsible and answering only to yourself as compared to answering to a whole bunch of people more senior than me. It's times like these that I wished I had just gone ahead with my 6-month stay in London so I can escape from the craziness.

Nothing much fazes me, and tears are usually hard to come by, but I broke down momentarily on Tuesday more out of frustration that I had to literally pick up after other people and stress than anything else. Many times I had to ask God for strength to press on especially when the point to this whole event vanishes at times to nothingness in the face of overwhelming responsibilities, many of which are not my own. I never intended for this event to start off on such negative tones, but it is only human to feel frustrated at times, not to mention tired and just trying to survive on my last shred of energy and willpower. I'm grateful to the people who were willing to come down and help out, and they have reminded me that there is still a ray of light over the horizon, and I am touched by the efforts of these people.

It is another 2 more days to the event, and yet I'm already very sick of it. It takes alot to just keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for God, and my momentary tiredness are nothing compared to what He has gone through for me, and many times God reminded me gently that He makes all things beautiful in His time. I only hope I can still stand by the time Saturday rolls around because it will be another hectic day of running about trying to finish up last minute preparations. I really want to be able to see the greater purpose of doing this event than my current short-sightedness can allow. God give me strength to do the things You want me to do, and teach me to do it well.

In His time, in His time

He makes all things beautiful, in His time

Lord please show me everyday

As You're teaching me Your ways

That You do just what You say

In Your time

In Your time, in Your time

You make all things beautiful, in Your time

Lord my life to You I bring

May each song I have to sing

Be to You a lovely thing

In Your time

be back on 17th June

2008-06-13T00:51:00.002+08:00

It's officially Friday 13th June [12:54am], so in about six and a half hours I'll be bound to Malaysia [Lanjut Resort] for Church Camp. That's another thing to be excited about on top of my date with London on the 28th July. Just finishing up my packing and trying to see what stuff I may have overlooked. I'm the Queen of Minimalist Packing, but the emptiness and lightness of my bag is ridiculous. It worries me that I may have left something behind, but I'm not too sure what because I'm usually a 'bring-everything-along-yet-bag-is-surprisingly-small-and-light' person. I shall indulge in many moments of vain-ness now as I proceed to epilate my legs, clean out my many pairs of earrings, and trim my nails that I may enjoy an unencumbered time in Malaysia without any hindrance.

London beckons once more

2008-06-11T23:12:00.005+08:00

I daren't proclaim it lest I jinx it, but it's confirmed: I'm heading to London on 28th July!! *squeals of glee* Actually Mom did mention, in passing, a couple of weeks back that Dad may be heading to England for a business trip, and if I wanted I could tag along. At that time it wasn't confirmed, but this afternoon while Mom was on the phone, she asked me for my passport details and she told me Dad was booking the airticket for me. In that instance, I'd never felt such exhilaration since...since...Forget it, I'd never felt such exhilaration. Darn, the hold this city has on me. It'll only be for a few days, at most a week, but I'd give anything to be there again. Even the thought of the 13-hour flight transports me into fits of heady delight. I found myself mentally planning out my itinerary and trying to maximize every second I'm there. I can't wait!!!

a life worth waiting for

2008-06-11T00:52:00.004+08:00

I went to watch Made of Honor today [I know, it has been showing for a very long time. I'm just slow] and all it has done is fuel in me the desire to up and go to Scotland and live there forever. Parts of the show were filmed in Scotland and the scenery was nothing short of breathtaking. Here are some shots I've found of random places there:

Footpath to Glen Clova [Imagine traipsing past here everyday]

Glencoe

Glenfinnan [Imagine looking out the window and greeted by a view like this]

Sunrise over Loch Voil [and spending free time sitting by the lake enjoying the majesty of God's creation]

Dunkeld Field [Not forgetting the cows, or sheep in this case, in the backyard]

As I watched the images of Scotland flicker past on the movie screen, I felt this pang in my heart, a desire to live there, and which will probably not be met in this lifetime. It felt like a longing to return home. Perhaps I've wanted this for so long that I felt rather attached to a place that I've only ever seen in pictures. Maybe one day I'll finally move to this place and live the life I've always dreamed of. This certainly lights a fire under my bum and places in me the motivation to work hard for it. I guess I'm not made for a concrete jungle.

bye bye voice

2008-06-08T23:36:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's a blessing that I'm rarely sick, but when I do fall sick, it's pretty major. I took a nap on Friday afternoon and woke up with a tight throat and cough. On Saturday I had a deeper than usual voice which some would even term 'Sexy', and on Sunday, I woke up and croaked. The last time I lost my voice was 10 years ago when I caught laryngitis from Mom. So losing my voice is still pretty new to me, and I must admit I was pretty entertained by its weird dinosaur-ish quality that goes out of tune every 5 seconds and cracks people up. I'm still entertained by it, but I hope I recover in time for Church Camp. Holding the outreach event meeting just now was a challenge though, albeit highly amusing as people around me cracked up every time my voice goes high-pitched.

life on fast forward

2008-06-03T22:59:00.004+08:00

It seems as if I'm fast forwarding through all the goals I've set for myself. Well, some of them anyway. I've always wanted pink hair and I had it for 24 hours until I realised society's not ready for it so I covered it back up. That's one tick against the checklist. I've always wanted to join a band, and I did try out a session and realised I'm not ready for such a commitment. Still got to experience it though. Another tick. Next on the list would be backpacking in Europe and then living there. This goal seems a little harder to breeze through. Still working towards it, and if right now I could sum up my life in a phrase, it would have to be:

"Tracy's Lifestory: Been There, Done That, the CliffsNotes Version"

down the well

2008-05-29T01:33:00.005+08:00

Spongebob Squarepants - Down The Well

Take a penny and some magic
Even though your life is tragic
You can throw in all your dreams down the well

Although everyday the pain grows
You'll ride unicorns on rainbows
If you throw all your dreams down the well

When your life comes apart at the seams
And you've given up all your dreams
Here is just the means to make those dreams come true

No more sufferin', no more sighin'
No more pain and no more cryin'
When you throw in all your dreams down the well

Hooray for my mediocre hacking skills! This Spongebob song has been playing in my head since watching the episode a few days back and I finally found it and ripped it off this website through clever *ahem* manipulation of html codes. I've always said that everything on the Internet can be yours if you only knew where to look and which code to pick out. Perhaps I really do have a little too much time on my hands, but it's a skill that would undeniably come in handy under special circumstances, or maybe just for bragging rights.

in His arms again

2008-05-23T01:56:00.004+08:00

Youth Leaders' Retreat 2008

I'm glad that I decided to go for the Leaders' Retreat despite nearly pulling out at the last minute due to a submission the day after I got back from it. I thank God for a time of spiritual refreshment, and it has been such a long time since I spent any time at all with Him, but at the retreat, I found myself waking up at 53oam each morning, and just spending an hour and a half sitting and enjoying the sounds of nature, enjoying the view of the sea and the trees, and just basking in the majesty of God's creation while talking to Him, and I found that I missed that. I enjoyed the time of fellowship with the people dear to me, as well as Ministry time. I've missed having that because I'm usually not around for the Teens and Youth camps, and it was really a time for me to reconnect with God, and to just find and rest in His embrace again, and to hear what He had to say to me through Zhengqin and Grace who prayed for me. All in all, it was a good 3 days spent sitting at God's feet, and my prayer for myself is that I'll continue doing so even in this fast-paced society, and that I'll find a niche where I can hide out from the craziness of this world and just to talk to God and to wait upon Him and to listen to what He has to say to me.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." - Psalm 91:1

wild but mild

2008-05-16T19:29:00.007+08:00

I took a big step today and colored my entire head pink. I now look like an anime character, and it wouldn't be half bad if not for the disapproving stares from the older folks. Maybe it could have been a little less bright, but with all dyed hair, it'll fade after a few washes, and I've always wanted to try pink hair anyway, so this will satisfy me for a few weeks at least. It's going to be the last drastic thing I can ever do to my hair before starting work, so I decided to indulge myself before it reverts back to boring black or brown.

Yet my eyes were open today to what people who walk on the wild side face. I don't think I was ever a wild child. Sure I have my 14 ear holes and now my pink hair to contend with, but underneath the facade, I'm just plain old Tracy who wants to try new and different things that some people may find hard to stomach. Mom asked me to dye my hair back to its original color because I cannot go to church looking like that and people will think I'm some prostitute or formulate a bad impression of me. When has our society degenerated into one where people lived only for the opinions of others?

Before the pink hair, I was never subjected to such scrutiny or worries because I was 'safe', but honestly, I never really cared about the opinions of others, or rather, I never let them dictate my life. I'm still the same person, that has never changed, and maybe it's proud of me to say this, but I've always lived by my own principle that as long as I can answer to myself and to God, I have nothing to worry about. Going to church looking like that should not even be an issue because if it is, then the church is just one big hypocritical organisation as it is supposed to preach the good news that ALL MEN may come to know God. I'm not ashamed to stand before God looking like this, and He is the only one we should even answer to. Jesus died that we may have everlasting life, and this includes the poor, the lame, the blind, even the criminals. He didn't die just so the well off and well dressed may have everlasting life. Christianity is not supposed to be an exclusive religion, and in fact, it is a relationship that we as individuals have with God, and I know I have that relationship. Jesus in His ministry here on earth, chose to be among the lame, the poor, the diseased, and the prostitutes. How dare any of us have such audacity to then judge whether a person is fit to go to church?

I wouldn't call this a mistake, but even if it was, I'm not perfect. Everyone makes at least one wrong move in their lives. Pink hair will always fade and grow back out. It's not permanent, and in all honesty, I don't see anything wrong with it. Society needs to learn to change and expand its views outside of that little niche it resides in and see the individuals living on the fringe of the circle. With such a myopic view of the standards of society that people have laid down for themselves, it comes as no surprise that very few actually dare to try something different for fear of being ostracized and condemned. I think I'm individualistic to a certain extent, and I certainly know my limitations and am old enough to make proper judgments for my life.

"One’s independent judgment reflects her will, her desires and her own reasoned valuations. Thus, only one’s independent judgment can or should command one’s actions if she seeks to be an individual rather than an employee of another’s desires." - Bertrand Russel

How to escape a fart

2008-05-11T21:40:00.002+08:00

I think I thrive on toilet humor because I found this video hilarious. It's 2 minutes and 33 seconds of my life I'm never going to regret.

Don't Write Me Off

2008-05-11T21:23:00.006+08:00

Hugh Grant - Don't Write Me Off (Music and Lyrics OST)

It’s never been easy for me
To find words to go along, with a melody
But this time there’s actually something, on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines

Since I’ve met you, my whole life has changed
It’s not just my furniture, you’ve rearranged
I was living in the past, but somehow you’ve brought me back
And I haven’t felt like this since before Frankie said "Relax"

And while I know, based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet

For years I’ve been telling myself the same old story
That I’m happy to live off my so called, former glories
But you’ve given me a reason, to take another chance
Now I need you, despite the fact that you’ve killed all my plants

And though I know, I’ve already blown more chances
Than anyone should ever get
All I’m asking you, is don’t write me off, just yet
Don’t write me off just yet

*For some inexplicable reason I really love this song. Music and Lyrics is a really good show despite what harsher critics say. Or maybe it's just because I like Hugh Grant.

Wayne Kerr Live in SG

2008-04-07T00:50:00.011+08:00

The Wayne Kerr Band - Love Is The Key

DAY ONE

Wayne and Kelley Kerr

The past 2 days have been an amazing journey - nothing short of magical [that's the starstruck groupie in me] - for me as I got to spend some time with this amazing couple from KATY, Texas. Wayne and Kelley Kerr stepped foot on our sunny [sweltering] shores on their way to Japan to play at conferences there. So Saturday afternoon saw the worship workshop held by Wayne, a singer-songwriter-worship leader, and he shared some pointers from his experiences in the field, and I must say it was inspiring. I love playing the bass guitar. I love God. If ever these two interests were to collide in a full time 'job', it would be the most awesome thing in the world. It doesn't even matter where I'd be as long as I have my bass guitar and God with me.

Worship Service

Worship Service in the night was a good time of refreshing for me spiritually. I played for Wayne as he led people in worship, and it was stressful [for myself, Eugene, and Jasmine] during the practice, but during the service itself, I just felt God take over, and it was a wonderful experience, and I am really inspired to keep practicing, and to never forget that worship always comes before performance.

A group of us [in 5 cars] hung out after the service at Novus Cafe at the National Museum where we got to fellowship with the Kerrs, and to see their goofy sides. All in all, a great end to an amazing Day One.

One big happy family united across continents

DAY TWO

Sunday Service

Both Wayne and Kelley joined us for Sunday Service, thereafter spending the rest of the day with a few others. Unfortunately I had to go home to TRY and get some work done so I only went down to the airport to send them off in the night. Loads of fun too. We were basically the noisiest and craziest group there [think free entertainment for the people queueing up to check in their luggage]. A short 2 days and I speak for most of us when I say that we have all been very taken with this couple.

Our first time [most of us anyway] at Terminal 3

To Wayne and Kelley: Thanks for your words of encouragement, and I will keep playing the bass! Take care and keep doing amazing things for God, and Singapore will see you soon!

http://www.myspace.com/waynekerrband

Additional Note: Thanks to Marian for the pictures!

Dr. Seuss love

2008-03-23T16:37:00.001+08:00

I've always loved Dr. Seuss, and watching Horton Hears A Who ain't no exception. We were laughing ourselves sick during this scene:

5 colors in her hair

2008-03-23T15:40:00.003+08:00

Pardon my vain-ness but I'VE FINALLY GOT MY PINK HAIR!!! Well not the whole head [I'll look like a clown] but YIPPEE! Pink and purple streaks! I reckon I've always had a 'different' fashion sense from normal people.

Walk on

2008-03-10T00:08:00.001+08:00

I love long walks by the beach. Sounds like the intro to a cheesy advert in some sleazy dating site. It doesn't necessarily have to be by the beach, because let's face it, the beaches in Singapore don't live up to the 'white-sandy-beach-with-clear-aquamarine-waters-and-palm-trees' variety. If I wanted to walk along mucky pavements strewn with sharp stones, dead leaves and branches, I would head somewhere other than the beach for no other reason other than the fact that it's dirty and inconvenient. Sometimes when the sky is clear and blue, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping and a warm breeze gently ruffles the leaves on the trees, it puts me in a contemplative mood and during moments like these, I like listening to my mp3 and taking a long casual stroll, and sometimes either talking to God and spending some time with Him, or just simply reflecting on my life. It really is the niche in which I escape to from the world even though it may just be a 10 minute stroll home from the NEL station. It doesn't even have to be a clear sunny day. As long as there aren't many people or much traffic around, I can go on one of my long walks armed with my mp3 and most comfortable choice of footwear [flip flops]. I delight in the simplicity of life.

So Simple

2008-03-06T10:02:00.003+08:00

This video and song just makes me feel unexplainably warm and fuzzy inside. The simple pleasures in life are worth so much more than the extravagant pomposity of the material world.

My fountain of blessing

2008-02-20T20:08:00.002+08:00

Sometimes things happen for reasons beyond our comprehension. Like for instance today while I was working on my 6000 word essay [I've completed about 4000], my laptop decided that the hours and days I spent on it weren't that important after all and crashed Microsoft Word while I was attempting to save my work:

"Word cannot save or create this file. Make sure the disk is not write protected."

Then the program promptly deleted whatever data I had saved before this and completely wiped out my document from my thumbdrive and the face of this planet. The next few minutes of frantically trying to retrieve my deceased document proved futile as the file could no longer be found either on my thumbdrive or the hard disk of the computer. Well I was frustrated, as anyone would understandably be, yet strangely enough, not to the extent of chucking my laptop out the window. Perhaps I had already resigned myself to retyping every single thing from the beginning, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it gave me much needed momentum to sit at my desk and focus on my work, which I never had before this and thus resulted in plenty of overdue work which I got too lazy to get started on. Not so much a fountain of blessing as a stream, but at least I've got the momentum to start kicking butt.

Pain In The Butt

2008-02-18T23:55:00.002+08:00

I've never felt my bum more than I have right now. The badminton game on Saturday has created muscles in places I never knew were capable of having them. Perhaps I'm sadistic or a closeted masochist, but aches like these instil in me a strong sense of satisfaction and stand as proof of a good workout, or lack of.

London calling part 2

2008-02-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Chatting with Mom about what I'm going to bring to London, what I'm going to need, what I'm going to do there, etc., brings the coming trip into stark reality. I realised that if everything goes well (i.e. I've secured a job and my finances and the working holiday visa application permits me to), I'll be going off to London in a little over 3 months. A relatively short period of time to address any uncertainties left regarding this trip and to finish up whatever that's left unfinished here before I go on my 6 month sojourn in London. There are a few things I still need to find an answer to in order to attain closure, and I hope I'll be able to do so within the next few months. Perhaps some things were never meant to be answered in my own time, and may I have the maturity to deal with it when the time comes for me to leave.

London calling

2008-02-08T18:28:00.000+08:00

After speaking to Melissa and bombarding her with question after question about living and working in London, I have decided to just wing it and stay there for 6 months regardless of whether I've found a job or not because it seems that job opportunities are pretty abundant there, but I'll still start sending out my resumes now. It is a huge decision, one that I hope I won't regret once I'm there. At least I'll have my cousin with me so it's not too bad. One friendly face in a foreign country. It would be a test of my social skills no doubt, but nevertheless, a really good experience from where I'm sitting. It's exciting, and now all I have to do is get through my final semester in one piece.

On a sidenote, how's everyone's Chinese New Year?! I had fun with the usual family [nuthouse] gathering and Bingo, but I had to put up with the endless "Why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" or "How come no boyfriend? Your brother has a girlfriend already, when will it be your turn?" questions. I'd give anything to stay in London forever just to escape questions like these. Actually, I'd give anything to stay in London forever, period. Questions like these beg not to be answered. How is one supposed to answer something like that anyway: "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms" or "I'm waiting for your son to turn 20 and then I pounce" or "I'm waiting for Prince William to call me". Seriously, it's not like I have a choice. Not that I'm resentful, but Nigel bringing his girlfriend around this year really opens the floodgates for questions like these. I'm just glad it's over.

To London or not to London?

2008-01-31T02:35:00.000+08:00

People have the tendency to make plans for their lives, yet some [like me] do not necessarily have the capacity to see most of these plans through, and one finds it even harder to do so when it comes to the bigger ones. For the past month I have been toying around with the idea of going to London to work in an architectural firm set up by Mom's old friend. It sure sounded like an exciting prospect when nothing was cast in concrete. It was basically fun to toss around. Only when Melissa messaged me a week ago to tell me that she'll be heading to London in May for about 6 months to work and would I be interested in going too, did I start to feel the familiar flutter of uncertainty.

If I were younger, perhaps I would drop everything in a flash and up and go to London to live out the rest of my days. For one, Mom's friend mentioned that I won't be able to work for his company because there would be plenty of legal hoops to jump through, plus the fact that he's going to be in Singapore. So that door's pretty much shut and bolted. Now I don't really have a reason to go there for 6 months, and judging from all the uncertainty, I should be relieved that my decision has been made for me, but now I feel like I'm giving up the chance of a lifetime. When they say women are indecisive, they don't know the half of it.

Initially my main concern was that I wouldn't be able to handle all the renting of accommodation and administrative rubbish that I would have to take care of because I'll be clueless and alone, and that I'll be in a foreign place with neither friends nor family. So when Melissa messaged me, I took it as a sign because she has done all these before and thus I won't be fumbling about blindly in the dark, and I'll have someone to share rent with, as well as a familiar face to keep me socially sane. Anyone would tell me this is the perfect time to go. Problem is, now I don't have a definite job waiting for me, and I don't really want to waste time and money in a country where everything costs three times more than the things in Singapore. Melissa mentioned that I could utilise a job site and start sending out resumes and job applications. I'll probably give that a shot, although I can't sell myself to save my life.

With regards to how long I'll stay in London, I'm still praying about it I guess. It would be great if I could find a job there because it is awesome exposure and it would definitely build me up as a person because I'm basically thrown into the deep end so I have to survive on my own. I would miss everything here if I were to be away for 6 months. It may not seem long [Zhengqin: At least it's not long term so we don't need to cry over you], but many things can happen in the span of half a year and I don't really want to miss out on life in Singapore. Anyhoo, I have time left to decide. If I choose not to work there, then I'll probably just be there for 2 months or so on my graduate trip, then return to Singapore to kick off the rest of my adult working life. If I choose to work in London, then I have a whole new chapter in my life to write, and I hope it would be one that I can look back upon fondly fifty years down the road.

Ducks VS Clowns

2008-01-22T10:45:00.000+08:00

For some reason this scene in Friends was running through my head all morning and I thought I'd take the liberty to share it with everyone else, hopefully to bring a smile to your face.

Chocolates for the Soul

2008-01-22T10:00:00.000+08:00

"Given the right chance, women are capable of anything"

I enjoy a good read, and what I like about Baci chocolates are the little quotes found inside each individually wrapped tasty piece or morsel. Physical as well as mental nourishment. Can't get any better than that.

Age has struck me

2008-01-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Nothing makes one feel older as when one's younger sibling suddenly has a '2' in front of his age. It's like "Whoa! Hold up there for a sec!". Anyway, Happy 20th Birthday to Nigel!

14 weeks later...

2008-01-14T11:52:00.000+08:00

Time flies, but this is ridiculous. It's Monday and the second week of school [Whaat? Already?!]. Perhaps this is attributed to my three-day week timetable at school coupled with the fact that the first week usually consists of nothing. Well, there's the usual briefings, but nothing too heavy. Let's not be lulled into a false sense of security because it's Week 2, which means we have 14 weeks to save our butts, and also 14 weeks left of student-hood [well, at least for me]. Which is a scary thought because no matter how torturing, school has always been some sort of refuge from the atrocities of the working world, to put it bluntly. My transition may not be that rough, but who's to say? As Eve was briefing us on Friday, I surprised myself by feeling a sudden jolt of sadness as I thought about how this semester is my last chance to do well in school. I'd admit my attitude towards work last semester was something less than desired, and since stepping into Interior Design, it has been one rushed submission after another, and I felt sad because this semester would be my last chance to submit a project I'd be proud of at the end of it all, and to go out with a bang, so to speak. Sad also because there won't be the security of predictable school work to hide behind anymore.

After April, I've got to start thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life. Curled up by the fireplace writing poems with my golden retriever beside me and a freshly baked pie cooling on the windowsill seems an overzealous ideal. At least not in Singapore. Which is why I've been toying about with the idea of going to London to work ever since Mom mentioned that her old friend is based in London with his own architectural firm, and that if I wanted to, I could try contacting him and applying for a job there. Seems an exciting prospect, and God knows how much I've wanted to get away from life in Singapore for a bit. However it's scary too because in a little under four months, it's a whole new journey for me, one which possibly may determine whether I'll be living under a bridge and rummaging around for scraps of food for the rest of my life.

Down Memory Lane

2008-01-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

Photos: Caution. Loads of photos ahead, beware the slow computers! Anyway, here are some photos from the Manila Trip, long overdue, but good for memory lane.

View from the top of the mountains which we trekked to. Absolutely breathtaking and stunning view. Makes one marvel at the splendor and grandeur of God's creation.

The river which we [or rather, the guys] took a dip in. Water was crystal clear, cool, and slightly sweet [yeah, I tasted, and nope, no tummy ache].

The sunset over the South China Sea (I think). Another one of the many postcard-worthy shots.

View from the plane. Carebear land. I half expected a few colorful bears to bounce around on the clouds.

The many kids we met in the villages. I learnt so much from them, and it was really humbling to see them all hamming it up for the cameras and delighting in something so simple to us.

The kids right before the church service.

AND ever so cute Xia, the delight of the team.

'Tiger' Kelly and Xia, her little bundle of joy.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." - Matthew 18:20

And our team from Singapore [and Jem]...

Distributing food to the villagers has blessed us in so many ways by just looking at the smiles that greeted us in gratitude.

Bald patch! Bald patch! I'm balding!

And the test of the Balut egg [chicken/duck foetus plus little bit of egg], which I was trying to squirm out of [but in vain].

Our makeshift banana stem plates that doubles up as toilet paper. What goes in must come out, and what better way than to utilise everything to its max.

And across the rivers we go...

...and then across fields and muddy poo-strewn paths...

...and down the mountains we go...

Our peaceful morning devotion amidst the rising sun, mountains, rushing waters, and cool air.

And the toil before we can shower.

Mehh..mehh..or is it Bahh? Backside! Backside!

Our names written in sand by Dado.

Charlie's Angels..oh wait..Or is it Tracy's Angels? Can't remember.

One big happy family

Trying to act cute [Keyword: TRYING]...

The amazing 'taxis'. It may look impossible, but we all managed to squeeze into 3. It's like those little cars in the circus which goes one round around the ring and then ten thousand clowns step out [OK, I'm exaggerating].

Another form of transportation - Carabou!

Reflection: I never used to understand why the Thai mission team are always so excited to go back. I used to think that I'll never be able to go for mission trips like these because I can't take the environments and I'll be too worried about my own comforts over anything else. Having gone to Philippines, I now understand how attached people can grow to places like these. The people that I met on the trip and the things I've experienced and seen can never be traded for anything in the world.

The Pursuit of Happiness

2008-01-03T00:07:00.000+08:00

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." - Matthew 6:19-20

Due to my past pomposity, I lived to collect as many medals, trophies, accolades, etc. as possible. Perhaps to feel good about myself, or maybe to attain that elusive feeling of exhilaration and self-importance by being at the top. Cleaning my room yesterday made me realise that all these are just temporary and 5 years down the road they are nothing more than alot of extra things to dust and clean. So I have resolved to just be happy this year. Not insanely so [but judging from the rate we're going in Lasalle, it may be a possibility], nor the 'floating-on-a-bed-of-cloud-singing-la-la-la-24/7' type of happiness, but pure happiness that derives from knowing God and being contented with the simplest things, and to spread this happiness to others as well. *thinking happy thoughts*

Human Tetris

2008-01-02T11:48:00.000+08:00

The Japanese have crazy-assed gameshows.

Little Girl Grown Up

2007-12-25T15:35:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!!!

Tis' the season to be jolly [and spend money] fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...Yet, without meaning to sound cliche, I say it is truly more blessed to give than to receive. In my case, I doubt any blessings would spring forth if I give everyone food poisoning from never-before-tried fruitcake. Other *ahem* things may spring forth though, which I shall now erase from my mind because the visuals are gross. I'm going to test run it on my guinea pigs aka brothers first, so for now, I'm equally blessed to just receive. Heehee.

All material things aside, it really is astounding how quickly 2007 has passed, and 6 days' time heralds the arrival of 2008. I take this Christmas as a time of reflection on the year passed, and I thank God for the countless blessings He has showered upon me even when I don't see it. I believe all things happen for a reason and Jeremiah 29:11 says:

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This year I've learnt many things, gained many new experiences, forged new friendships, and cemented old ones. I've been to London and back, and it was a new albeit scary [initially] experience, but I'm glad I'm fortunate enough to be able to do so. Then I went to Manila and there I learnt much and took back with me manifold blessings, and had the opportunity to fellowship with people I normally wouldn't get a chance to talk to unless I really had to. School was hectic as usual, and I'd admit it wasn't the best of semesters, but on hindsight, it was something that had to be done, and I'd like to think that I got through it alright [I hope]. The people I've met and subsequently gotten to know, I'm thankful for it. One can never have too many friends, and I like getting to know people from all over the world even if it's just to exchange a cursory greeting.

As I sit and type, I can't help feeling the tremendous wave of gratitude that sweeps over me, and as much as I may have griped and grovelled over many things this year, I'm amazed at how everything somehow turned out alright in the end, and here I am, at the threshold of a new year filled with more exciting prospects as I finish up my last semester at school and finally step out into the working world, but not before embarking on a month-long backpacking trip around Europe, which I hope I'd still be able to fulfill before being tied down by the vagaries of adult life, and forced to finally grow up. It's a scary thought, and I honestly wished I didn't have to do it. I like being in my little PSP game-filled world, but I guess everyone has to grow up sometime, and I reckon my time's coming in a little over 6 months, which really flies by fast as judging from the way 2007 has passed so rapidly. As we all welcome in the new year, I want to clean up the slate, so to speak, and I hope I'd be able to settle anything that's left undone in 2007 and really just start off the new year renewed and refreshed, without excess baggage, and to face whatever's coming my way with my head held high. 2008, bring it on.

My week in Manila

2007-12-11T21:37:00.000+08:00

When one has to pump for water before bathing, it really makes one appreciate the convenience of life that many of us have taken for granted. I came back from Philippines today, and I have taken away with me the experience of a lifetime. Honestly I was a little worried when I caught my first glimpse of the bathroom which I was to shower in for the four days we were to stay at Pastor Joey's house in Zambales. There were no lights, and in one bathroom, a colony of cockroaches called one wall home. Water had to be pumped and subsequently scooped over ourselves, and the toilet had neither flush nor toilet paper. My biggest worry was the bathrooms because I like clean toilets. I don't visit public ones at all [unless I really really really have to] because they are never clean enough for me, and even at home I scrub the seat before I actually use the toilet. So I admit I was a little worried and I found myself thinking how bad I would smell if I didn't shower for three days. Yet it's amazing how resilient the human spirit is. When the time calls for it, I'd manage just fine, which was what I did for the four days I spent in the village, and I even started to miss village life when time came for us to leave.

The place I called home for four days was a simple one. We slept on mattresses beneath mosquito nets in cramped rooms and doors were mere cloths. To travel to the villages we were to visit, we had to climb mountains and cross streams and rivers, clamour over and under barbed wires, and over huge steaming piles of poo. Yet people were happy for the littlest things despite their hard lives. Every village and house we went to, people were poor, and many children ran around in tattered clothing and bare feet, yet one could see the sparkle of joy and hope in their eyes when we distributed food to them, or simply just gave a simple wave. We were strangers in a foreign land where hunger and poverty is the norm, yet it was amazing how, despite the language and cultural differences, it was still the same God we all worshipped at their humble churches, and it was humbling to see them allow these group of strangers into their lives. It was a humbling experience for me. Singapore has spoiled many of us, and nobody can fully appreciate how good we all have it until we experience life on the other side of the fence for ourselves.

Even though I've only been in the company of this group of people for about a week, some for four days, nevertheless I missed them all the same. When you brave steep rocky slopes, thorns, weeds, twigs, slippery streams, rivers, and steaming piles of poo everyday, you develop a kind of affinity for the people who are around you to share in the breathtaking view when you've finally climbed to the top of the mountain. Images in the media can never compare with what you see with your own eyes. There was the deep azure of the South China Sea on the horizon, and off to the other sides were the peaks of Mount Pinatubo and other mountains of which I do not know the names off. It was a top-of-the-world feeling that cannot be replicated anywhere else other than from the top of a mountain. Being scratched by numerous thorns, twigs, slipping on loose rocks on steep inclines gave birth to a spectacular feeling of achievement at the top, and one would naturally feel a sense of closeness with the group of people with whom one shared this moment with.

Through this trip, I got to see God's magnificence in the little things as well as His creative hand in the grandeur of His creation, and it has taught me alot and blessed me in so many ways. I got to speak to people I normally do not interact with very much, and even though we've gone to bless, we in turn were blessed by the joy and passion in these people, and how despite their tough lives and little that they had, they still reflected such energy and enthusiasm when they worship God that it's humbling to be in their presence, and I caught myself mentally signing up for the next trip even before it is planned. Maybe just leave the balut eggs out. Even though it tasted like egg yolk with a chewy slimy centre, the thought of that foetus in my mouth really churns the stomach.

Manila bound!

2007-12-05T01:57:00.000+08:00

Alrighty, in just a little over 7 hours I'll be in a plane bound for Manila! Wheee! I'm heading up there for some simple mission work like giving out can food and sharing Christmas with the villagers. Really looking forward to a blessed experience so I should be trying to catch at least 3 hours of sleep before getting ready to leave. So Ciao Singapore! I'll be back on the 11th!

My inner geek

2007-11-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

I'm glad I brought my PSP for modification because now it supports .iso and .cso game formats. Which means that I no longer have to spend an average of $50 just on one game which I normally complete twice in a week [Sidenote: Yeah, I'm a geek.] because now I can *ahem* download instead. So while reading game reviews online trying to decide which game to acquire next, the review for Castlevania: Dracula X Chronicles had me stifling giggles in front of the computer lest my parents thought me weird:

"...this game is absolutely abundant with precision jump sequences, double-team situations, and other stamina-sapping hazards that will cause you to mutter profanities as you die repeatedly while learning the layout of each level."

Many people would probably not get the humor behind this, but anyone who has seen me last night playing Tomb Raider Anniversary would probably get it [darn T-Rex].

My Wedding Song!!!

2007-11-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

I know it's mighty early and I still have not found a partner yet but I have been humming the first line of this song all evening and eventually had to download just to appease myself and I think I have found my wedding song *indulgent guffaw*. The song makes me go all warm and gooey inside [and now it sounds like I'm full of mucus or phlegm].

From This Moment On - Shania Twain

(I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse, I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

A day in the life in an ID studio

2007-11-13T15:11:00.000+08:00

Sun is shining, birds are chirping, the sky is a clear blue dotted with fluffs of white cloud, and I'm stuck in the studio blogging on Tiffany's laptop [Thanks Tiffi!] while waiting for Xin Wei to come in for his supposed lesson which was supposed to start 45 minutes ago. What a lazy day. It's the sort of day which makes one want to lie in a grassy field and just stare at the sky, which was exactly what I told Sarah on MSN:

Tracy says:
The sun is shining bright and warm..the sky is so blue

Sarah says:
Wah its not raining in SG?

Sarah says:
Wow!

Tracy says:
Yah

Sarah says:
Miracle

Tracy says:
It's the type of day that makes you want to lie in a grassy field and stare at the sky

Tracy says:
I feel so lazy today but have to do work so grossss

Sarah says:
Lie on the grass... in Singapore...

Tracy says:
Er..maybe not..haha

Sarah says:
Chances of lying on dog poo..highly possible

Tracy says:

Or worms...

Tracy says:
Singapore's grass is gross and botak

Tracy says:
Haha

Sarah says:
Or bird droppings....

Tracy says:
Yucks

Sarah says:
I realised that birds shit alot in SG

Tracy says:
Yah man..it's like the birds come here to have diarrhoea

Sarah says:
That day I was at Old Airport Rd.. just had dinner.. walking to the car..

Sarah says:
then there was a loud SPLAT! right next to me

Sarah says:
I swear if it hit me I would have just passed out

As one can see, it resulted in a rather intense discussion about bird poo which seemed hilarious at that time, and Eugene [sitting opposite me] thought I was sniggering at him [Eugene: What?! What?! I know you're laughing at me!]. Had to hide my sniggers behind my hand lest the rest thought I was something funny up there.

My longer list

2007-11-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

OK, I've just added to the 'Things I'd Like To Do Before I Grow Old And Die' list:

1: Go backpacking in Europe

2: Travel the world on a bicycle/boat/sampan/kayak [Although this seems highly unlikely so I'll just settle for #1 above]

3: Go out into the middle of the biggest ocean and watch for whales, dolphins, sharks, and what-not

4: Go down into the deepest, darkest part of said ocean and check out cool creatures of the cold, deep dark waters [Probably not feasible as well unless I magically strike gold somewhere, somehow, but a girl can dream]

Hey Mickey!

2007-11-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

While walking to school today, this huge rat dashed across the pavement in front of me. Seriously if it had been any slower, I would have stepped on it. That was how close it was to me and if I had a weak constitution I would probably have shrieked myself stupid and then leaped onto the road in a bid to get as far away from the rodent as possible and then possibly caused a major pileup, BUT I trudged on with nary a flinch. Even I'm amazed at my own composure. It's as if fat rats ran across my path every other day.

My backpacking dreams

2007-11-05T21:06:00.000+08:00

Life is short, so while watching Discovery Travel and Living [hooray for Cable!] I realised that there are some things I'd like to do before I infiltrate the ranks of the working society or grow too old to even walk to the bathroom unassisted:

1: Go backpacking in Europe

2: Travel the world on a bicycle/boat/sampan/kayak [Although this seems highly unlikely so I'll just settle for #1 above]

Now I won't say I have an adventurous streak in me [maybe a little bit], but there are moments of spontaneity and those things above are just the kind to fuel in me some motivation. I can imagine myself sitting in an Internet Cafe somewhere in Venice among old beautiful buildings and blogging about my daily adventures before grabbing my bag and rushing off to catch the plane/boat/train to the next country *longing sigh*.

Tranquility

2007-11-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

Call me morbid, but I think the most peaceful places on earth can be found in cemeteries, unless you're one for superstition and believe in scary ghost stuff. Sometimes I like to take long walks, so today I was walking back home from Potong Pasir and I walked past what was once the Sri Bidadari Cemetery [ex-cemeteries are also counted unless they have been developed into something unrecognisable as what it once was] and the light and warmth of the morning sun transformed the gentle sloping green mounds of the cemetery grounds, the old trees, and crooked gravel footpaths into pure tranquility. It reminded me of London's Hyde Park, although not quite as majestic, but nice and green enough. I wish I had a camera to capture the moment that represented something un-Singapore-like. The graves have all since been moved and it won't be long before the government decides to develop this last remaining piece of calm and serenity into yet another concrete world in their bid to squeeze as many people as they can into this already overpopulated tiny red dot [Just something lame that hit me - Singapore is planet earth's pimple].